One With You Chapter 5: Eva Continues to Be Absurd

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One With You Chapter 5

Eva tries to sleep in during her first day as a jobless free woman. Cary will not stand for this:

“It’s after nine o’clock, lazybones,” he drawled, settling on his stomach with his heels kicked up behind him. “I know you’re unemployed, but don’t you have a shit-ton of stuff to get done?”

Gosh, yeah, stalk and confront her many nemeses…talk to a wedding planner? Uhhh maybe try on a dress? Good thing Eva left her job with a full plate such as this:

“Are you kidding? Even if you bought a dress off the rack—which we both know you can’t—if it needs any alterations whatsoever, Mrs. Big Boobs and Voluptuous Ass, you’re pushing it timewise.”

Cary was right. I’d realized I had to find something custom after photos of Gideon and me kissing on the beach had spread all over the Internet on Sunday. The number of “steal this look” blog posts on my beachwear boggled my mind. Since the bikini I’d worn had been discontinued, prices for used ones on resale sites were staggering.”

I feel faintly disgusted by who Eva has “become” throughout these books. Like this is supposed to symbolize her growth that she took the lead and quit her job so she could eventually earn her place in this world without working for Gideon by…focussing on being Gideon’s partner in crime and the person he depends on when he can’t be two places at once…And in doing all this, really she just has to focus on things like getting a custom wedding dress because she’s suchhhh a fashion icon now. If fully embracing being a shallow asshole was the point of Eva’s character arc, job well done.

Eva is worried about finding a designer, but Cary reminds Eva it’s fashion week I guess this is implying she should just go to fashion week and trawl for phone numbers.

Cary suggest Eva go with her mother, but they had a fight about turning Eva’s wedding into a “publicity op”. Fancy people problems.

“I don’t know what she’s so upset about. I couldn’t have asked for a better picture of Gideon and me if I’d tried. It’s perfect for making Corinne Giroux look desperate.”

Yeah, Corinne is the only one looking desperate here.

Because everything else in this story has been super rushed, the family and friends wedding that is purely symbolic since Eva and Gideon are already married is happening SUPER SOON and Eva has not revealed this to her mother yet. Or wedding planners. Or designers. But she’s rich, so I can’t imagine these odds are hard to beat.

Gideon calls and asks Eva to join him for a very important lunch. She’s soooo busy doing nothing, but she agrees. After getting off the phone, Eva has a revelation about what she has to get done today:

“I’m hopping in the shower. You’re going to find me a fabulous hair salon that can fit me in about thirty minutes from now.”

“Okay.”

“Then I’m going to lunch and you’re going to make a few calls for me. In return, I’m taking you out to dinner tonight. You pick the place.”

“I know that look you’ve got,” he said. “You’re on a mission.”

“Damn straight.”

A mission…to look good! Who needs a job when you have a mission like that one?

We then get pages of Eva picking out a hot outfit and Cary approving. The hair stylist shows up, and things get kicked up a notch.

“Make me blonder,” I told him.

Taking a step back, he stroked his goatee thoughtfully. “How much blonder?”

“What’s the opposite of black?”

Cary whistled.”

My God. Eva, you mad woman!

BUT THEN THINGS GO UP ANOTHER NOTCH!!

“Let’s take it up a notch. I want to keep the length, but let’s do something edgy. More layers. A little spiky on the tips. Maybe some bangs to frame my eyes.” I sat up straighter. “I’m sassy, sexy, and smart enough to flaunt it.”

I think I just fainted.

whole_brain_cryinh

 

“What kind of lunch is this that you’re going to?”

I glanced at my phone, cursing silently to see that ten minutes had passed since Raúl texted that he was waiting downstairs. “I don’t know. Something to do with business, Gideon said.”

“Well, you’re spectacular arm candy.”

“Thanks.” But I wanted to be more than that. I wanted to be a weapon in Gideon’s arsenal. I’d have to earn it, though, and I relished the challenge. If I could manage to contribute something—anything—to the conversation today, I’d be happy. If I was out of my depth, though, I could at least make him proud to be seen with me.”


Going off what I said earlier this chapter, this really makes Eva’s decision to leave her job all the more baffling to me. Maybe I completely misunderstood her motivations for leaving, but I really thought it all started with Gideon poaching Mark because his work nemesis had tried to hire Eva and Mark to do PR for his game console or some shit. Eva was angry Gideon had so much control over her and her career…but it sounds like she has not solved for this problem at all.

Eva heads to lunch, and also asks one of their security guards to find out where Anne Lucas is. Because Eva is looking so hawt, she feels it’s time to confront her nemesis!

Gideon surprises Eva at lunch with the board members of his charitable foundation, which Eva has always wanted to get more involved with. He also introduces her as his wife rather than keeping up the charade that they’re only engaged.

Eva says all the right things, and the board asks her to attend events on Gideon’s behalf when he can’t be there since she is now part of the Cross family.

“Two places at once,” he murmured.

My heart felt like it was squeezed inside my chest. This was more than I’d expected, sooner than I had expected it. Gideon had gone straight to something personal, something intimate and essential to who he was. Something that meant a great deal to me, as well, and that I could put my own stamp on.”

It really bothers me that Eva’s goals dreams are now just latching onto Gideon’s. I think it’s lovely that she’s taking advantage of her good fortune to give back, and this is a cause she believes in, but it just strikes me as sad that it feels like she’s erasing everything else in her life that was hers.

After lunch, Eva uses the bathroom and runs into the wife of Gideon’s business nemesis (Ryan Landon). She invites her to fashion week, but Eva politely declines and can’t figure out this woman’s game. She also bumps into Ryan Landon, and can’t figure out his game. So many rich people mind games!

“I was just talking about you earlier today. Heard that you’ve left Waters Field and Leaman.”

The warning tingles that hit me in the bathroom intensified. I wasn’t prepared to play these dangerous social games.

For the love of God these people need to watch more Netflix.

Eva and Gideon discuss this interaction later, but come to no conclusions except Eva wants to be a better teammate when it comes to these “dangerous social games”. Or just don’t play them at all, Eva.

More importantly, it’s time to go confront Anne “Who the fuck is she again? Is she the villain in this book that isn’t Corinne?” Lucas. Angus points out that Anne might be working and not actually leave her building for awhile.

“I figured. I’ve got a few things I can handle while I wait. If I run out of things to do, we’ll try again some other time.”

Oh ya, such super important things to be done on Eva’s end these days. She’s soooo busy. She’s obviously just going to play Candy Crush on her phone like the rest of us because I’m pretty sure since this book has only been taking place over three months Pokemon Go hasn’t come out yet.

“I called Cary.

“Hey,” he answered. “How was lunch?”

“It was good.” I caught him up.

“Eventful,” he said when I finished. “Can’t say I get the whole Landon thing, but then I don’t understand much of what goes on with your old man.”

Cary is this book’s MVP somehow.

They catch up about wedding things, and I find it hard to believe Eva actually has other things to do besides this while she stalks Anne Lucas. Oh wait, she calls the people Cary already called on her behalf to hash out more details. Why did Cary need to get in touch with these people if Eva was just going to call them herself anyway? Poor Cary, always the B-plot Googler or the Caller, never the A plot confronter of nemeses.

Speaking of which, Anne Lucas has left the building. Angus has Eva wear a mic so he can monitor the conversation, and Eva is off!

I gave her a once-over. “You should ditch the wig you’ve been wearing around Cary. The short hair suits you better.”

Anne recovered quickly. “Eva. Don’t you look pretty? Gideon is polishing you up nicely.”

“Yeah, he polishes me a lot. Every chance he gets.” That got her attention. “Can’t get enough, actually. He’s got nothing left for you, so I suggest you find someone else to be crazy over.”


One With You is seriously making Eva seem like such an embarrassment to herself, on the same level as all these enemies we’re supposed to look down on. I wonder if that’s actually the point, but somehow I don’t think it is. I mean, is there any other reaction to her retort to Anne besides cringing from second-hand embarrassment?

Anne’s response isn’t much better. She’s like, “He’s probably fucking someone else RIGHT NOW!!!!!” Don’t speculate wildly, Anne, it is unbecoming.

Anne then goes on to say some creepy shit about how fucked up Gideon is and that he’s been in therapy since he was a kid. It’s unclear to Eva and to us if she knows what happened to him (it was her brother that molested him). She also compares Eva to Beauty and the Beast so Eva can get this line:

“Who do you think monsters marry, you stupid bitch?” I walked back to her. “Pretty little breakable girls? Or other monsters?”

I pushed up into her face. “You got the fairy tale right. But Gideon’s the beauty. I’m the beast.”

I…actually liked this for some reason? I’m still trying to do some inner exploration to figure out why. Ultimately, though, I don’t see anything good coming from this confrontation. Anne hasn’t really done anything yet, and this seems like it will only antagonize her rather than actually intimidate her.

parks and rec should not have done that gif

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17 comments

  1. Bellomy Reply

    How in fuck does Cary have any sort of role in this at all? His presence basically anywhere in any of these stories defies reason. He adds absolutely nothing. Not to mention, isn’t Gideon supposed to be jealous? And isn’t Cary bi? Shouldn’t that be, like, an issue (and, for that matter, not an entirely unfair one)?

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    • 22aer22 Post authorReply

      I think it’s been pretty firmly established that Eva and Cary are more like brother and sister. Gideon is often irritated with Cary but has actually accepted that asking Eva to get rid of him would be a pretty devastating blow to their relationship, so he’s sort of reluctantly embraced him. But he avoids dinner with Cary whenever possible. But I agree, I think even Sylvia Day forgot what Cary was supposed to bring to the books.

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      • malcolmthecynic Reply

        I get that, and it makes some sense, but even then…he’s bringing nothing new or interesting to the table. He’s just “There”. As you said, it seems mostly as if Day forgot why she added him at all.

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        • 22aer22 Post authorReply

          Yeah, I wish he’d just decided to move away from NY or something a couple books ago.

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  2. Madeline Reply

    I look back fondly on the days where Eva came home to Cary hosting an orgy in her apartment.

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    • 22aer22 Post authorReply

      Those sure were the days 🙁 At least now he gets to make bemused comments about Gideva’s nonsense.

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      • Madeline Reply

        God, all these characters are such unrelenting assholes I forget that Cary used to be my favorite bad character!!!

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  3. wordswithhannah Reply

    If fully embracing being a shallow asshole was the point of Eva’s character arc, job well done.

    Whither Fifty Shades goest, Sylvia Day shall go.

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    • 22aer22 Post authorReply

      I guess it was inevitable. I’m not angry, just disappointed.

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  4. Cara Reply

    That haircuts scene is literally describing Elliot’s makeover in Scrubs.

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    • 22aer22 Post authorReply

      Holy…yes!!! I can’t believe I remember exactly what you’re talking about – I haven’t watched Scrubs in years

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