Calendar Girl (June) Chapter 1: Mia Goes to D.C.!

sunglasses indoors larry david

Calendar Girl (June) Chapter 1:

Calendar Girl hits the ground running. Mia is picked up from the airport by the Shipley’s driver, which gives her enough time to check her text messages from Tai and Wes. She has Tai in her phone as ‘Sexy Samoan’ but Wes is just ‘Wes Channing’ in her phone.

Tai isn’t happy Mia left without saying goodbye, and Wes is wondering why she hasn’t talked to him in a month. She sends him a snarky message about Gina, and focusses her thoughts on meddling in someone else’s love life:

Hopefully Tai was getting ready for his first date with Amy right now. My heart fluttered, thinking about how the universe dropped her into his lap. Literally. She landed in his lap at dinner that night.

Thanks, we were all there and understand what “literally” means.

I sure hoped she was the one. Mentally, I made a note to touch base with Tai in a week to double check their progress. Something told me that she was it. His forever.

Ignoring the baffling way Calendar Girl has tackled the idea of soul mates, doesn’t Mia realize how counter-productive her continued involvement is to Tai finding his happy ending with Amy? “Hey honey, why does the escort who was hired to be a model for a month who you were hooking up with for entirety of said month keep texting you intimate questions about our relationship?”

She tries to convince herself she’s not jealous of Wes and Gina:

He was hitting the sheets with model-perfect Gina DeLuca, while I was banging my own sexy Samoan.

Now would have been a good time for Mia to remind herself that Tai is literally a model in addition to being a sexy Samoan. For those of you who need clarification, when I say ‘literally’ I mean Tai is actually a model!

Mia calls Wes, and they have exactly the same conversation they’ve been having since the end of January. 

When Mia arrives at the Shipley’s mansion, she’s greeted by Aaron, the sexy senator and son of her current client.

His eyes were shaded behind a pair of black Ray-Bans.

sunglasses indoors larry david

Mia mentioned at the start of this chapter that it’s overcast, and they’re indoors, so I immediately hate this man.

Then Aaron walks down the stairs, which Mia describes in great detail:

As sleek as a steel-gray jaguar, he took one step at a time from the top of the stone stairway down to the gravel drive below. Most people would make the attempt to meet him halfway up the dozen or so steps. [Note: Would they, though? I would think most people would wait for the host to walk down the stairs? Why would you both be standing in the middle of a staircase to make introductions?] I’m not most women, and he was definitely not most men. I enjoyed watching him move. He had an air of authority that clung to him like a fine, crisp cologne. I watched him take each step with grace and agility, exuding so much power I almost melted on the spot.

Oh, yes, baby! Walk down those stairs at that graceful and agile pace! Don’t stop!

Before we move on, let’s also pause to admire how some really important character work was done in a scene where one character is just walking down the stairs and the other is not walking up the stairs simultaneously. “I’m not most women, and he was definitely not most men.” Impressive.

The moment our hands touched, an electric charge zapped my palm. I tried to pull away. He clung tighter. “Curious. I rarely feel someone’s essence just from a single touch.”

Between Tai’s mother and this guy, I have no choice but to conclude that Calendar Girl is taking a supernatural turn.

He pushed up his glasses into his hair, a move that was far too cool for someone of his political stature. Men like him were supposed to be dull, boring, and all about government blah blah blah…

But not this guy. This guy wears sunglasses indoors on overcast days and then puts them on his head. He ain’t about all that government blah blah blah.

He talks more about Mia’s life essence and the energy between them. I hope Mia is hallucinating this guy because she is very jet-lagged. That would really explain everything.

“When I press our palms together harder”— he placed his other hand over the top of the one he was holding, forcing them closer together—“ it’s much stronger now.”

Who voted for this guy? And why is Mia eating this up? I thought her whole vibe was supposed to be calling people out on stuff like this.

He tells her to come with him to meet his father, and Mia almost passes out at this point because he said the word ‘come’. Then he cups her cheek to see if she’s okay because she’s so dazed after he says the word ‘come’. I’m not joking. This is such an inappropriate introduction.

“Father…” Aaron cut him off abruptly, which I found rather rude and unappealing. His hotness just got kicked down a notch. “Ms. Saunders is here.” He tugged my arm forward, and I came face-to-face with an older carbon copy of young Shipley.

Now is hotness is kicked down a notch? Mia is unpredictable, I’ll give her that.

Mia assures us that Warren is an above-board guy and not a pervert because he pulls her in for a “fatherly” hug and looks her in the eyes after that rather than down at her boobs. Remember, this is the feel-good series about a woman who becomes an escort to pay off her father’s gambling debts so he isn’t murdered. Everyone has a heart of gold and hires escorts for the right reasons!

Just by your look alone… I can already tell I’m going to have them eating out of the palm of my hand.”

This cliffhanger is fantastic because I actually can’t wait to find out what the “right reasons” are for hiring Mia this time around.


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8 comments

  1. Cara

    Ew. This guy is like if Edward Cullen took douche-occultism lessons from Criss Angel and then went into politics.

    5+
  2. Jennifer Layton

    I pushed my sunglasses to the top of my head this morning when I came in to work, and three of my co-workers passed out in orgasmic fits. Now I know why. I’ll need to be more careful next time. Thanks, Calendar Girl! (Mentos commercial-style thumbs up)

    6+
  3. Madeline

    Is this supposed to be a Kennedy-Marilyn Monroe thing? Because it’s not fucking working.

    2+
  4. Sue W

    With everyone getting miffed because she leaves without saying goodbye, isn’t it about time she quit that habit? It’s kind of rude.

    3+
  5. wordswithhannah

    “Yes, thank you for attending my town hall. My constituents feed my life force. Let me feel your…essence…” “BAD TOUCH!”

    2+
    • matthewjulius

      No joke, this sounds like a way better book.

      1+
  6. Pip

    The life essence makes him sound like a prophet or a psychic. Since I really, REALLY don’t want to watch Carlan handle politics, I hope this book is about Mia dealing with a powerful psychic and his mortal enemies, which-gasp- include Blake!

    0
    • 22aer22 Post author

      At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the direction the book is taking since Carlan is clearly running out of ideas.

      1+

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