In case you couldn’t tell by the very appropriately titled post Search Engine Optimisation, in chapter 8, Eva gave Gideon advice on how to optimize his charity foundation’s website. Despite being a savvy businessman, Gideon didn’t have the foresight to hire a team of designers and web developers to create a usable website, so Eva to the rescue! [Matthew says: This is how starved Syvlia Day is for plot already. We had a chapter about Gideon’s company’s charity’s website. Woooo.]
Also Gideon really wants Eva to come work for him because he’s so full of good ideas and business acumen clearly.
Chapter 9
And now, time for a girl’s night out with Eva’s minor character pals! [Matthew says: And time for our readers to start asking who any of these characters are.]
“What was wrong with that one?” Megumi asked, watching the guy in question walk away. “He had dimples.”
Entwined with You: setting the bar even lower for finding a potential life partner. Or boyfriend. Or first date. Or one night stand. Or casual conversation.
Just when you thought there weren’t enough minor characters to keep track of, we’re introduced to Megumi’s roomate Lacey. Now we can have two people in one living space who we aren’t concerned about – super convenient! [Matthew says: At least we were actually introduced to Lacey. Megumi just showed up out of the ether.]
Pop quiz time!
Take Our PollShe is indeed a coworker of Eva’s. Congratulations to those of you who somehow remembered that (or were able to correctly identify the only normal answer of the bunch. Your deductive reasoning skills are truly astounding.)
Eva and her pals, failing miserably at the Bechdel test, talk about men and monogamy. It’s an incredibly watered down Sex and the City moment, so I’m pretty sure you can imagine the basic flow of conversation. If not, here’s a handy summary.
Woman 1: I wish my guy would commit.
Woman 2: Commitment is so overrated. *Jumps off bar stool and starts to wiggle butt for no reason as it doesn’t appear anyone is even near their table.*
Woman 1: I like commitment *sad face*
Woman 3: Have you tried talking to the man?
Woman 1: No.
Woman 3: Let’s take shots!!!!!
Woman 4: I’m here too! And I also want shots!
That is 98% true to the actual scene in the book. If this were an episode of Game of Thrones, fans of the book would be like “holy shit that was accurate and no rape was added to this scene for no apparent reason!” The highest of compliments.
[Matthew says: Every now and then I feel like I should try getting into Game of Thrones again, then I remember that I never read anything good about it and wonder why I keep thinking this.]
[Ariel says: I watched the first season and was super into it, but then lost interest during season two and have had no drive to get back into it. I blame racism/ageism for my lack of interest because there came a point where I couldn’t tell one old white man apart from another. So at least 60% of the time I was just like waiting for the two characters I was interested in to come back on screen. I also don’t particularly care who wins the game of thrones.]
Eva, the most jealous person on the planet, dances with lots of random people. I never understand how she operates, because if Gideon were at this dance club, Eva would be terrified if his arm even brushed another woman’s. I mean, she’s so paranoid only moments ago she was thinking about the outfits all the waitresses at this place are wearing and wondering if Gideon “had any hand in picking the outfit? And if so, had anyone modeled it for him?”
So of course this makes complete sense:
We were swallowed into the mass of writhing dancers, quickly finding ourselves pressed between steamy male bodies.
[…]
“You’re beautiful,” someone yelled by my ear.I looked over my shoulder at the dark-haired guy curved against my back. “Thanks!”
[…]
I reveled in the utter sensuality of the venue and the shameless drive for casual sex that everyone seemed to exude. I was pressed between a couple—the girlfriend at my back and her boyfriend at my front
What the fuck? I normally don’t dislike Eva as much as other protagonists we write about on here (Ana, Zoey, Abby), but right now I really find her unlikeable because I know in like ten minutes she’ll probably get angry at Gideon for smiling at a lady at a party. [Matthew says: Also for the near-endorsement of cat-calling, because I don’t think I’ve ever heard a single woman ever say, “You know what I like? Street harassment!”]
Stanford’s nephew Martin shows up, and Eva sets him up with Lacey. It’s so beautiful when two characters who we know nothing about really hit it off and start flirting.
Soon, Eva and Martin’s crews are shooting the shit and having a grand old time.
Our expanded group was roaring with laughter in no time.
“And when Kurt came back from the bathroom,” Martin finished his story, “he sacked the whole restaurant.”
Andre and Martin started howling. Kurt threw limes at them.
“What does that mean?” I asked, smiling even though I didn’t get the punch line.
“It’s when you leave your sac hanging out of your fly,” Andre explained. “At first people can’t figure out what it is they’re seeing, then they try to figure out if you just somehow don’t know your nads are swinging in the breeze. No one says a word.”
In case this scene misleads you, they’re meant to be a really charming and fun group of guys! #Lowstandards. [Matthew says: Like a normal person using the English language, I assumed this meant that he fired the entire staff. This book managed to find a way to get even worse from there.][Ariel says: I thought the same thing! Did Sylvia Day make up this appropriation of “sacking”?]
Missing Gideon and his lack of stories about “sacking” the general public, Eva goes to call him, and he tells her he can be with her in twenty minutes and fuck her at the club. So generous! So selfless!
Eva tells Gideon she’s been “dancing like she’s single”, which maybe means she’s just been putting on this act for her friends’ benefit in order to convince them she’s single (thus making sure no one suspects her and Gideon of murderous murder)? Or to make Gideon jealous?
Even though Gideon and Eva’s dirty talk still turns my stomach nine times out of ten, the general idea of this chapter is sexy. Gideon and Eva sneakily meet in a secluded part of the club and keep it secret from everyone else. Though the reason behind keeping their relationship secret feels pretty contrived at this point, the secrecy does make this chapter more fun than many of the others that have come before it. #Lowstandards.
Anyway, Eva starts grinding with a guy while she waits for Gideon. In case you were wondering how Eva could tell when Gideon was nearby, it isn’t by using her eyes. No, she doesn’t find him with her vagina either, but nice guess.
We were three songs out before I felt the ripple of awareness that told me Gideon was nearby. The electrical charge swept over my skin, heightening every sensation.
Yup, basically Eva’s Spidey senses are tingling when Gideon is nearby. Or if you’re more familiar with Harry Potter it’s like when Harry’s scar burns when Voldemort is near. [Matthew says: Are we sure this isn’t just her vagina?][Ariel says: You do have a point. Eva’s vagina = Harry Potter’s scar.]
I licked my lips with anticipation, leaning into the guy behind me and rubbing my ass voluptuously into the next roll of his hips.
Gideon’s hands fisted at his sides, his posture aggressive and predatory. He didn’t slow as he neared me, his body on a collision course with mine. Turning, I met him the last step, surging into him. Our bodies crashed together, my arms encircling his shoulders and my hands pulling his head down so I could take his mouth in a wet, hungry kiss.
This would be fine if we had any evidence that they were this kind of couple, but literally everything we’ve seen of them in the past indicates that neither can take any kind of jealousy, so this just doesn’t ring true at all. In what world would Gideon find this sexy and not infuriating? [Matthew says: Guess it’s time to start taking bets on what Sylvia Day will retcon out next! Maybe she’ll retcon out Cary’s infidelity, or that Gideon murdered a dude!]
Gideon hitched one arm beneath my rear and lifted me, his other hand slapping flat against a pad on the wall by the mirror. I heard a faint beeping, and then a door opened in the mirror at my back and we stepped into almost total darkness. The concealed entrance closed behind us, muting the music. We were in an office, with a desk, a seating area, and a 180-degree view of the club through two-way mirrors.
Of course none of the crowd notice the fucking secret door that’s randomly opened behind Gideon and Eva because they’re all too busy dry humping on the dance floor. Of course Gideon’s club is built like a haunted mansion with a hidden door behind a mirror instead of a revolving book shelf. How much better would that scene have been if there’d be a revolving bookshelf in the middle of this club? [Matthew says: This is like some James Bond shit. Like the old, campy James Bond, where “sexy” meant “you like goofy novelties, right?”.]
On the other side of the glass, the club raged on. I abandoned myself to the wickedly intense pleasure of seemingly exhibitionist sex, an illicit fantasy that always drove us wild.
Well that’s just cheating! All the thrill without the actual danger and hassle. Gideon’s money affords them the weirdest privileges.
I writhed, unable to bear the decadent pressure. My hand between my legs reached lower, cradled his sac.
Oh! Oh! Has Eva just gotten “sacked”? Day really knows how to tie a chapter together, doesn’t she?
He fucked me hard, thrusting like a man possessed. I held on, trembling, spread wide for the relentless drives of his rigid penis. He was lost to instinct, the insistent desire to mate.
Nothing gets readers going more than a little scientific dirty talk. Nature documentary style. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. The very male Gideon, an urban predator, has finally found a mate in Eva. Like most of his species, the insistent desire to mate has overwhelmed the male. The female, Eva, is very aroused by the maleness of Gideon.
And, well, the chapter ends with Gideon’s climax, and I genuinely have no idea what could possibly happen next because somehow this book has less plot than House of Night. I know, that is one of the most controversial statements I could make on Bad Books, Good Times.
So how many of you can actually keep track of who some of these minor characters are?
Challenge: Without looking at any past posts, name as many minor characters as you possible can.