Search Engine Optimisation: Entwined with You Chapter 8

"Fangirl spins around in chair excitedly"

If anyone out there ever does a search for “Entwined with You Search Engine Optimisation” we’re definitely going to be number one, I can just smell the success, motherfuckers! [Matthew says: We’re getting less and less subtle about how we’re totally selling out over here. Buy a mug!]

When we last left off, Eva had confronted Evil Reporter Deanna over the phone. Though Deanna’s accusations about Gideon are actually very much grounded in reality, she herself is easily written off as just another Desperate Woman Scorned. If her motivations had been just an iota more compelling, she probably would have made the list of our misunderstood characters, which is one of the highest of honours on BBGT. [Matthew says: A Crossfire character who isn’t motivated solely by sex would be understood by the other Crossfire characters just as well as if they were speaking Russian.]

Chapter 8

Eva finds Gideon pacing in his office.

The indolent, well-pleasured male I’d eaten dinner with was gone, replaced by an urban predator who dominated his competition.

I always find it really odd how she often describes him like this, as an animal. She doesn’t even call him a man, just refers to him as “male”. [Matthew says: In case we forget? “Oh, shit, I forgot Gideon is a MAN.”] Eva must keep male urban predator Gideon pleased or Gideon MAD. Gideon dominate competition NOW.

Eva is upset Gideon didn’t tell her that he’s being sued (by a man he punched in the face.) In his defence, Gideon had intended to, but instead chose to comfort Eva when she was upset about her mother being an asshole. I’m with him on this one, a lot of distracting stuff happened last chapter, how could anyone keep track of what they intended to do when they got home from work in this series!

That night, Eva is able to catch Gideon at the start of one of his nightmares, and after she wakes him up they talk about why he’s been having them more frequently lately.

“I killed a man,” he said grimly. “It’s never been safe for you to be with me when I’m sleeping, and that’s even truer now.”
“Gideon …” I suddenly understood why he’d been having his nightmares more frequently. He could rationalize what he’d done, but that didn’t alleviate the weight on his conscience.

Christ, it’s about time this is addressed. Come on, Eva, wouldn’t it be pretty insane if Gideon didn’t have complex feelings about murdering a man despite the rationalization? [Matthew says: I like how it actually takes Eva time to realize “huh, maybe murdering a dude… makes you feel bad…”]

They cuddle and talk about happier dreams he could have, which obviously include sex because this is a book from the Crossfire series.

“God, I love your mouth.”
“You should dream about that, then. And all the naughty things it can do to you.”
“Give me some examples.”
I gave him plenty, talking in a low soothing voice, my hands stroking over his skin. He slipped away from me with a deep exhalation.
I held him close until long after the sun rose.

Who needs lullabies or comforting words when you can soothingly talk dirty to someone?

The next morning, Eva decides it’s time to talk strategy with Gideon about his public image.

“I’m mostly thinking of how to combat a smear campaign focused on your temper.”

Oh oh! I can help.

Step 1: Don’t beat people up in public.

Step 2: Don’t beat people up in general. Maybe just a quick punch in the face, but you know, avoid assault.

Step 3: Hug a baby or something, but don’t punch said baby in the face. Not even if he smiles at Eva.

Step 4: Continue down this path of not violently attacking people when your personal life is constantly under scrutiny.

Glad I could help, Geva.

Eva suddenly becomes a search/marketing professional, and begins criticising Gideon for his Crossroads Foundation charity’s abysmal website. Sadly, as this is pretty much the career path I’m pursuing, I found this to be the most interesting thing that has ever happened in the series.

That earned him a quick, smacking kiss to the temple. “It took me a ridiculous amount of time to find out about the Crossroads Foundation.”
“You didn’t know where to look.” [Matthew says: I feel like this is a really bad excuse for having a disorganized website.]
“Your search optimization really blows,” [This scene is even better because they’re using blows in this context.] I countered, pulling up the website. “And there’s only this splash page, which is pretty, but ridiculously bare. Where are the links and info about the charities that have benefited? Where’s the About page on the foundation and what you hope to accomplish?” [Seriously? Gideon is like Super Businessman Extraordinaire and there’s no About page? Come on. It’s not quite the same level as English major Anastasia Steele has never used email or the internet to do research, but it’s pretty dang close.] [Matthew adds: What information is on this website? I literally can’t think of anything else you would put on a website for a charity.]
“A packet detailing all of that information is sent out to charities, hospitals, and universities twice a year.”
“Great. Now, let me introduce you to the Internet. Why isn’t the foundation tied to you?”
“Crossroads isn’t about me, Eva.”
“The hell it isn’t.” I met his raised brows with my own and shoved a to-do list in front of him. “We’re defusing the Deanna bomb before it blows. This website needs to be overhauled by Monday morning, with the addition of these pages and the information I’ve outlined.”

I know there is some hilariously stupid logic going on there – Like the Deanna situation being completely reversed simply by improving this one webpage. But I was into this scene.

Seriously, what the fuck does this say about the series that I was genuinely nodding along and tying to brainstorm along with Eva ways for Gideon to create a better landing page for his foundation and get the word out about the good he’s doing. It’s not even clear what this foundation does, but I was like, “Fuck yeah, let’s get our hands dirty, Eva! Let’s create a damn About page already!” What does it say about this series that this is the only “plot line” (and it can’t even be considered a plot line) that I’m actively invested in.

Also, what does it say about me that my reaction to this is SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMISATION, Y’ALL.

"Fangirl spins around in chair excitedly"

Hey, Gideon, I’d love to launch your Adwords campaign for you. Guys, all I want is a happy ending to this series where Crossroads Foundation is ranking higher on Google than the Britney Spears movie Crossroads. I think that’s more important than any supposed character development going on.

This is Eva at her absolute best, and I daresay it might even be the sexist part of the book. If she went to work for Gideon now, I wouldn’t even judge her because her changes to his website make sense. But I don’t really believe that Gideon wouldn’t have a team of professionals already working on this shit. Just saying. [Matthew says: Ariel, you are clearly forgetting the rule that the main character must be better than the love interest’s paid professionals, as was established when Ana became editor-in-chief of Christian’s publishing house after working there for a few weeks. ROMANCE WRITING TIPS 101, Y’ALL.] He’s supposed to be this business genius, an urban predator if you will, and he’s got no About page or links to information about the charities he’s helped? I’m sure he would have hired wiser people than this unless he drunkenly created this page one night on his lonesome, which I seriously doubt.

Sadly for me, this subject is dropped to talk about how Gideon already has plans to manage every situation Deanna claims she’s going to use against him. This for some reason becomes a discussion about Eva and Gideon getting married someday. How do these conversations shift so rapidly? The whiplash I experience reading this series is insane.

He leaned back. “Think about it. The lid is about to blow on a scandal involving you and me. What’s the swiftest way to defuse it?”
“Stay away from me. That’s what you’d be advised to do. Distancing yourself from the source of a scandal is Crisis Management 101.”
“Or do the opposite and marry you,” he said softly. […]
“I just…” I blurted it out in a rush. “I want you to ask me when I can say yes.”
Tension gripped his body. He leaned back, his eyes wounded beneath his frown. “You couldn’t say yes now?”
I shook my head.
His mouth thinned into a determined line. “Lay out what you need from me to make that happen.”

Eva explains that he needs to be more forthcoming with information because she still feels like he’s hiding things. Gideon makes the good point of asking her to be more specific, so he can answer any lingering questions she currently has.

What burning question do you think Eva is going to ask Gideon first?

“Vidal Records. Why are you in control of your stepfather’s company?”
“Because it was going under.” His jaw hardened. “My mother had already suffered through one financial meltdown; I wasn’t going to let it happen to her again.”
“What did you do?”
“I was able to convince her to talk them—Chris and Christopher—into taking the company public, then she sold Ireland’s shares to me. In addition to what I acquired, I had the majority.”

Well, that was the most boring question she could have picked. Did anyone else remember that as one of the series’ most important unsolved mysteries?

Eva gets a call from her mother and agrees to come over and talk to her. She also gets a text from her friend asking what she’s wearing on their big night out tonight. Shit, somehow this one day is going to get drawn out into two more chapters I bet. We still have to go to Eva’s mom’s house AND on this night out.

With that information out of the way, it’s time to talk about important business issues again!

“This is all very good,” he praised, gesturing at his desktop. “Especially considering you pulled this together in a matter of hours.”
I preened a little, thrilled to have impressed a businessman whose acumen had made him one of the most successful individuals in the world.

Let me just reiterate, he didn’t hire someone who had the sense to create a fucking About page on a website about a charity. Something that people might actually want to know before donating to a charity.

This of course leads into Gideon telling Eva he still wants her to come work for him. That had definitely completely slipped my mind since we haven’t heard about it in half a chapter. Gideon wanting Eva to work for him is to Entwined in You what Damien being gay is to the entire House of Night series.

As per usual, a few different things happen in a jumble towards the end of the chapter. Just in case any are significant, [Matthew says: Wait, there are significant things happening in this book?] here we go:

1) Gideon tries to convince Eva he’d provide her with a fun, challenging job, and that even if they disagreed at work they could totally leave that drama behind in the office. I’ll believe it when I see it, people. Given Gideon and Eva can barely have a night at home without drama as is, I have considerable doubts about them being able to manage work and home drama.

2) Eva stops home and chats to Cary’s boyfriend Trey, and it’s a nice scene. Eva ships Cary/Trey over Cray/Tatiana, so she tells Trey they should hang sometime. He seems like a nice dude. But this bit cracked me up in conjunction with #5 on this list. Trey asks Eva how she’s doing, and this is her response:

“Dodging reporters, hoping my boss gets engaged, planning on setting one parent straight, fitting in a phone call to the other parent, and looking forward to hitting the town with the girls tonight.”
“You’re awesome.”

I really hope Trey is being sarcastic. Best character ever if that’s the case. What the fuck about being hopeful that her boss gets engaged makes her awesome? Or talking to her parents? Or going on a girls’ night out? I think that is just referred to as “being a generic human.”

3) Clancy, Eva’s mom’s driver/security guy picks Eva up to bring her to see her mom. They get to talking, and they talk about how Eva’s mom never told her she saw Nathan that day outside of the Crossfire building, and Clancy points out that Nathan was trying to scare Eva and no one wanted to give him that satisfaction.

4) Eva talks to her dad on the phone, and for some reason also tells him her boss might be getting engaged. Why the fuck does she feel the need to tell everyone this? I’m surprised there wasn’t a scene thrown in where she told Clancy this or the cashier at a corner shop.

5) Eva asks Clancy what he would do to protect his wife, and he’s like, “What wouldn’t I do?” So I guess the implication is that everyone is completely absolving Gideon for the murder even without knowing that’s what they’re doing?

Question for you guys:

How many of you are Orange is the New Black fans? If television isn’t your thing, what is something you’re currently super into?

 

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0 comments

  1. Madeline Reply

    I think Sylvia Day might have realized after the second book came out that having the romantic lead murder someone might creep out the audience, so she puts all these characters intentionally/unintentionally defending it.

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    • 22aer22 Reply

      Hindsight, amiright? I think the unintentionally defending it is especially hilarious because there could easily be a situation where Eva explicitly said to Clancy, “Oh, would you murder for your wife?” And he paused and was like, “Ummm maybe not so much?” Unintentionally condoning murder is so not a real thing, Day.

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  2. Bellomy Reply

    No “Orange is the New Black” fan here (Sorry!), but I WILL take this opportunity to plug this new game I got during the Steam summer sale. It’s an indie game called “To The Moon”.

    This game has virtually no gameplay and extremely basic graphics, but it has one of the most beautiful stories I’ve ever seen. And I’m not talking about “seen in a game”, I mean one of the most beautiful stories I’ve ever seen, period. The soundtrack is absolutely spectacular, and the writing is equal parts hilarious, heartbreaking, and profoundly moving.

    Games like this are why we need Indie developers: Because AAA guys simply do not have the balls to create a game about exploring how a man’s life is affected by his relationship with a woman who has a mental disorder.

    You not only owe it to yourself to get this game (currently on sale for three dollars and change), if you like games you owe it to the industry to support developers who are willing to take the risks the AAA games wouldn’t dare to.

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    • 22aer22 Reply

      Oh oh! I think I may have seen that game pop up when I was browsing games on Steam the other day. I completely agree about Indie developers…I’m currently awaiting a release of a Harvest Moon-like game but for PC. They’re also more willing to try new things and hear direct feedback from people invested in the game (whether it’s emotionally or literally have helped fund their Kickstart campaign.)

      I may have to download To The Moon because it sounds awesome, and I haven’t really been invested in a video game’s story in a while. Save for maybe Mass Effect or Dragon Age II (and I’m not sure if South Park Stick of Truth counts). Otherwise I just find myself skipping cutscenes to get back to the gameplay most of the time.

      This also reminds me of a game I read about that sounds similar to this and was really storyline driven about someone with cancer. Can not for the life of me recall what it was called, though.

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      • Bellomy Reply

        Definitely get it. I tend to get games if they sound interesting and at least have reviews in the 80’s so I got “To The Moon” with absolutely no clue what to expect. It totally blew me away. Pewdiepie and Cryaotic both have Let’s Play’s of it that I watched after I finished. Both got emotional, Cry actually got teary-eyed. Pretty sure Pewds had to turn of the camera for a bit near the end.

        (Side note: If you’re going to watch one, watch Cry’s. He kind of lets the story stand for itself, which is important, whereas Pewds works a little bit too hard to inject humor into it, which is entirely unnecessary.)

        Just know what you’re getting, though. There’s almost no gameplay. If you’re getting the game, you’re getting it entirely for the story and the soundtrack. And it’s TOTALLY worth it. Plus, the creator is seriously awesome and responds to fans in the Steam forums, and he donates half of his proceeds from his soundtrack to an autism charity.

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      • Dana Reply

        I actually just watched a playthrough of it, because I love games that have emotional stories with them (Loved Walking Dead and The Last of Us as well, even though I never played the latter … yeah, I don’t really own any video games besides Sims). I was fine during most of it, but near the end (starting with the constellation scene) I just couldn’t hold the tears in any more.

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      • Bellomy Reply

        “The Last of Us” was very good, but I actually think “To The Moon”‘s story is better. It’s much more creative and clever, and funnier. And I was more emotional during “To The Moon” then I was at any point in “The Last of Us”..

        Don’t get me wrong, it was a great game with a great story. But “To The Moon” in its own way is more ambitious, because it’s basically making the extremely bold claim, “The story in this game is so, so good, we don’t even need gameplay”. And it pulls it off.

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    • matthewjulius Reply

      Wait, fuck, is THAT what “To The Moon” is about? Shit, that is so up my alley and I definitely missed the sale. Ah well. Steam sales come quite frequently, and it’s not like I don’t have an absurd backlog at the moment anyway.

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      • Bellomy Reply

        Kind of. Ostensibly it’s about getting this guy to the moon, but, you know. Plot.

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      • Bellomy Reply

        I didn’t finish “Braid”. So hard it wasn’t fun. Or, put another way, I was so bad at it it wasn’t fun.

        But, yeah, “To The Moon” is absolutely nothing like “Braid”. Like, not at all. The story is real and takes place in a fully realized fictional reality, not the sort of odd dreamscape thing “Braid” takes place in. Basically, we’re supposed to accept what’s going on in “To The Moon” at face value as if they were things happening in the real world, if in the supposedly short future.

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        • matthewjulius Reply

          I eventually finished Braid, but I had to Google solutions to a few levels once I passed my threshold of actually having fun. Never even NOTICED the bonus stars or whatever. That was just stupid bullshit levels of difficult.

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      • 22aer22 Reply

        ^Dana, I loved Last of Us as well. I still think about the ending sometimes – really enjoyed it.

        I love the Walking Dead comics and show, I didn’t realize the game was supposed to be good. Is it really story driven and a different story than the show? AKA does it actually have a conclusion?

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      • Dana Reply

        It is VERY story-driven. I don’t watch The Walking Dead, but I do know the characters and story are different from the show (but Hershel—he’s a character right?—makes an appearance, plus maybe a couple other characters). I’ve actually heard some fans of the show say they prefer the video game. It’s sort of like Last of Us, because it’s mostly centered on the relationship between the main character and a young girl, but the two games are very different.

        One thing about The Walking Dead game that I love (beyond the fact that I actually had the opportunity to play it since it’s on the Ipad, unlike so many other games I want to play) is that it is basically an interactive drama. It’s not really a shooting game (most of the gameplay involves small missions, conversations, and quick-time events). However, the way the game plays out is completely dependent on every small choice you make throughout it. Certain characters live or die because of the little things you do. Your relationships with the other characters—whether they trust you or not—depend on how you choose your dialogue in certain scenes. The game I play might be very different from the one you do.

        There is a conclusion to the game in that the main storyline is resolved, but it definitely allows for a sequel (which exists actually, though I haven’t played it yet).

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  3. Helen Reply

    OITNB is awesome <3 Also, I'm glad you are being converted to becoming British! I noticed the s you used in optimisation and heartily approve.

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    • 22aer22 Reply

      Ahhh I knew someone was going to notice!! I’m on a British computer damn it and it keeps autocorrecting everything I do, and I’ve just given in! If I make posts from my super American laptop, everything will go back to normal!

      Also did you see the OITNB finale this season? IT STILL IS MAKING ME HAPPY AND I WATCHED LAST WEEK!

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      • Helen Reply

        So you should! British spellings are much prettier. I won’t comment on whether they are functional…

        YES. The finale was SO GOOD! I swear, the last few moments of it were absolutely hilarious. And now I miss it 🙁 Can it come back soon?!

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  4. Kristin Reply

    Perhaps the delay on Book 4 is because Book 3 was such a disjointed pile of shit and the publisher/editors want to make it readable and somewhat likeable? (To the masses, not us, of course 😛 I hope it continues to suck so we can continue to make fun of it!)

    As for Eva telling everyone about her boss getting engaged, I think it might be to show how super cool she and everyone in her life are about gay things (see Matthew’s posts from Book 2(?) about Eva’s assertation that Cary’s sluttiness was directly tied to his bisexuality). Perhaps Day had some backlash about that?

    Lastly, I have never seen OITNB, but I am heartbroken that the final season of True Blood is airing now. I am also slightly irked that we are already 2 episodes in of a short season and I am NOT into the storyline AT ALL! They have a lot of Sookie anxiest to get through and only 8 episodes left to do it in!

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    • 22aer22 Reply

      All I know about this season of True Blood is the Eric/Jason scene of Wonderful Beautiful Awesomeness. It makes me want to get back into the show again! I watched up until last year and may marathon in the near future cause I feel like I have to see how it all ends.

      Hahah and the book just keeps getting delayed because they can’t save it no matter how much surgery they do on it 😉

      EVA IS SO DOWN WITH THE GAYS. She doesn’t even like notice when people are gay because it’s soooo not an issue with her omg.

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  5. Ali Reply

    How bad are you at dirty talk if someone falls asleep during it?
    LOVE OitNB. I hated Piper in the 1st season, but really fell in love with her in the 2nd season.

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    • 22aer22 Reply

      YES me too! I liked her on and off season one but then was more exasperated with her than anything. Still sort of fond of her but also just like, “Ug give someone else your screen time.” I thought she was great this season. I was so happy when she returned to her prison fam.

      I hope Larry is never on it again. Can we please just stay in the prison? I give no fucks about Larry’s lattes.

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  6. E.H.Taylor Reply

    Why is Eva telling everyone her boss is getting engaged? Have they ever even met him? Was there an actual segue into it or did she just randomly start talking about it? Also, why talk about how he *might* get engaged? What happens if he’s turned down? Maybe Eva should try concentrating on her own relationship (if you can call it that).

    I’ve never seen OitNB, but I’m starting to think I should. However, if I watch anything before starting Game of Thrones, my friend is likely going to strangle me.
    I’m not a big TV watcher (the only shows I follow every week are Masterchef and Hell’s Kitchen). I tend to like to let things build up a few seasons and then binge watch them over a couple of weekends (just finished doing that with Psych).
    Currently, I’m waiting to get out to the bookstore to get the next three books in the Wheel of Time series.

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    • 22aer22 Reply

      There is absolutely no sensible segue for Eva to talk about her boss’ potential engagement. It’s so random and weird! And yeah if it falls through it’s like, “Oh oops, I failed to help get my boss engaged.” Like how is she even helping all that much?

      I got bored with Game of Thrones midway through season 2, but maybe one day I’ll give it another go. Definitely binge watch OitNB it’s so so so everything and good.

      Ahhh I also miss Psych a lot, I watched for ages and then fell a couple seasons behind but I want to watch that as well to see the ending. I used to love that show so much <3

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      • E.H.Taylor Reply

        Psych is such a great show. I’ve only got about 6 episodes left (I only started it two weeks ago!) and will finish up the weekend. I’m just so in love with the characters!

        My ‘to be watched’ list is huge and I have no idea if I’m ever going to complete it. There are so many shows I’ve started but never finished (Supernatural, Veronica Mars, Smallville, Bones, Buffy, etc.) and I want to go back and finish them, but it has been so long that I feel like I need to start at the beginning… I need more free time!

        I just ordered GoT season one, so while I’m waiting for that (and once I’ve finished Psych), I’ll watch OitNB!

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