Last week, Cary had a storyline. Gaspshocks aside, it’s just another accidental pregnancy plot that’s meant to be made more interesting because of Cary’s bisexuality and the fact that he’s also dating a really nice guy named Trey! And the girl he knocked up, Tatiana, is a huge bitch! Whatever will happen in this situation that I am totally and completely invested in! [Matthew says: Have any of these people actually been in Entwined With You yet? Seriously, though.][Ariel says: Trey showed up once or twice to be nice and likeable. A strong foil for Tatiana.]
Chapter 21
Gideon and Eva are minding their own business in Eva’s apartment, just eating some good old ‘za when Cary shows up with Tatiana. [Matthew says: I SPOKE TOO SOON! Obviously the reader will still care about a sudden subplot involving a character who hasn’t been in the entire book so long as she shows up afterwards!] We quickly find just how much of a snobby bitch Tatiana really is:
I reached across Gideon for a packet of Parmesan cheese and whispered, “Baby mama.”
He winced. “She’s trouble. Poor guy.”
That was my thought exactly as the tall blonde walked in and wrinkled her nose rudely at our pizza. Then she caught sight of Gideon and flashed a come-hither smile.
Oh you think you’re better than pizza, Tatiana? Well, I’ve got news for you. Gideon and Eva are, like, so rich and cool and young and trendy, and they’re eating pizza, so whatever. It’s totally awesome. [Matthew says: Just when I thought the characters in this book couldn’t possibly seem less realistic, suddenly one of them doesn’t like pizza.]
Shoutout to the everlasting trope of having every woman in the world blatantly eye-fuck the sexy male protagonist whether or not he’s with his girlfriend or she’s with her boyfriend. Whom she is going to have a baby with.
“Hey, Cary,” Gideon greeted my best friend before tossing his arm over my shoulder and burying his face in my neck.
I think this is meant to be Gideon’s way of showing his undying loyalty to Eva, but it just seems like a very odd way to greet someone. [Matthew says: When I say hi to someone, I always immediately nuzzle someone I’m not saying hi to.]
Eva and Gideon invite Cary and Tatiana to hang out and have some pizza, but of course Tatiana acts like a whiny bitch the whole time.
Cary snagged a slice, while Tatiana complained about him jostling her. I was bummed that she couldn’t be more comfortable hanging out. If she was going to have Cary’s baby, she was going to be in my life, and I hated the thought of that relationship being awkward.
In the end, they didn’t stay in the living room long. She insisted that the handheld camera shots in the movie made her queasy, [Matthew says: Tatiana’s one redeeming quality.] and Cary took her back to his room. A short while later, I thought I heard her laughing, making me think her biggest problem was the need to keep Cary all to herself. I could understand that insecurity. I was intimately familiar with it myself.
Tatiana, of course, only get worse the next morning, and things continue to sour between her and Eva.
I’d just finished putting on some pearl earrings and was stepping into the hallway when Tatiana appeared heading from the direction of the kitchen with two water bottles in her hands.
She was buck naked.
My temper almost boiled over, but I kept my tone calm. The pregnancy certainly didn’t show, but knowing about it was reason enough to skip the shouting match. “Excuse me. You need to have clothes on if you’re going to walk around my apartment.”
“It’s not just your apartment,” she shot back, tossing her tawny mane over her shoulder as she moved to pass me.
That’s a terrible argument! Although this does make me understand why Cary’s with her a bit better. Remember that orgy he had in the living room way back when? He couldn’t have used this very same argument to justify it. The only thing going in Cary’s defence is that it’s his apartment, not his boyfriend’s apartment which is the case in Tatiana’s situation.
“You don’t want to play games with me, Tatiana.”
“Or what?”
“You’ll lose.”
She stared at me for a long minute. “He’ll pick me.”
“If it came to that, he’d resent you and you’d lose anyway.” I dropped my arm. “Think about that.”
What is up with this girl? I get that she wants Cary to be all hers or whatever, but what warped logic would make her think trying to entice Gideon and alienate Eva is going to achieve this?
Anyway, at work later, Megumi isn’t at her desk, and this is clearly going to be Important in the future, because there’s weird attention paid to the fact that everyone is assuming she’s out sick but no one’s actually heard from her. [Matthew says: This must be what happened during the entire first book, then.] Eva tries to call her a few times throughout the day, but never hears back. COULD IT BE THE RUSSIAN MOB??
Now that we have this new mystery to ruminate over, it’s time to remind us of another mystery. What better way to remind us then to have Detective Graves return in all her cheesy glory.
“Eva.” She gave me a curt nod. “Great tan.”
“Thanks.”
“Cross take you away for the weekend?”
Not exactly a casual question. My back went up. “I had some time off.”
Her thin mouth quirked on one side. “Still cautious. Good. What does your dad think of Cross?”
“I believe my dad trusts my judgment.”
Graves nodded. “I’d keep thinking about Nathan Barker’s bracelet if I were you. But then, loose ends make me twitchy.”
For the record, Graves knows that Eva’s dad is also a cop, so her question isn’t completely random. But the Grizzled, Tough-but-Fair shtick is getting really old. This goes nowhere, and basically Graves just tells Eva that the case has gone cold. [Matthew says: Just like the plot.]
Blah blah, later Gideon and Eva take a bath because for some reason there has to be a bath or shower scene every other chapter. Gideon gets a phone call from his mother that Corinne is in the hospital. I’m just going to go ahead and say it, I would so much rather the burgeoning Megumi mystery be given more attention than another Corrine scene. She is not actually ever going to be a threat to Gideon/Eva, so it’s utterly pointless to keep bringing her up. It’s this book’s terrible version of the boy crying wolf over and over with no payoff. [Matthew says: I’d say it’s a red herring, but this book is like a goddamn herring farm.]
I went to Jean-François.
I greeted him softly. “I’m very sorry.”
He looked at me with dead eyes, his face seeming to have aged a decade since we’d met at the wine bar the day before. “What are you doing here?”
“Mrs. Vidal called Gideon.”
“Of course she did.” He looked over to the seating area. “One would think he was her husband and not I.”
I followed his gaze. Gideon was crouched in front of Corinne’s parents, holding her mother’s hand. A sick feeling of dread spread through me, making me cold.
“She would rather be dead than live without him,” he said tonelessly.
I looked back at him. Suddenly, I understood. “You told her, didn’t you? About our engagement.”
“And look how well she took the news.”
Why is Gideon’s mother even involved in this? Why is Gideon even getting sucked into this. I am so angry! [Matthew says: Why is the BOOK getting sucked into this? For a steamy erotic novel, like 95% of the story is Eva dealing with other people’s problems.][Ariel says: Yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised if half of the next book centered around Eva trying to set up her favourite single Starbuck’s barista with the lonely pizza delivery guy she’s been best friends with this entire time even though you don’t remember him at all.]
Gideon and Jean-François get into a brawl after Jean-François receives some news in private from a doctor. Eva only hears something about a baby being mentioned, which makes for the second storyline in this book revolving around a pregnancy. When will the madness end! Let’s go back to the Russian Mob and Megumi and even the drama of Gideon’s childhood over this nonsense. [Matthew says: Let’s just go for the hat trick and find out that Megumi is pregnant with the Russian mob’s baby.]
If you had to write in another baby-related plot to this series, what would it be? The more insane the better.
All of this is obvious foreshadowing to the fact that Gideon is pregnant with Eva’s baby! — IN HIS BUTT.
And here everyone thought the anal on a plane scene was pointless!
I knew there had to be some deeper reason for it! I’m all for Gideon being the one to have the accidental pregnancy happen to him and for him to be terrified of Eva’s reaction when she finds out.
Tatiana, whyyyyyy. Can someone please explain to me why all of these writers just straight up hate women so much?
And my baby plot: Zoey Redbird gets pregnant from that over-the-jeans handjob with Heath, which is obviously a segue for Zoey discovering that she has an affinity not only for all the elements, but also ovulation and scientifically impossible impregnation.
The plot twist comes on the last page of the second-to-last chapter, when we find out that no, it wasn’t Heath’s baby after all, it was the Goddess Nyx’s offspring with Loren Blake the Vampyre Poet Laureate, and Zoey was just a surrogate. The baby is born. It’s Stevie Rae.
Every woman in the novel gets knocked up by Gideon, cuz he’s just such a stud and all, and they become convinced that their offspring are destined to bring in a new age, one where women don’t act like nagging housewives and the men are all dark and wangsty.
They start their own cult that gets totally raided by the SWAT team, and in one final, desperate act of utter selflessness inspired by Wanderer, who somehow became den mother of the cult, the women all blow themselves up to give the men a chance to escape with the kids and start anew.
On another note, aren’t all the misogynistic pseudo-romances on this blog written by women? What the hell is up with that?
I see the dream of Giroux being sassy and judgmental to everyone is officially dead.
The only baby plot I can come up with for this book is Eva’s mom getting knocked up by Eva’s dad again, but that could easily happen.
Don’t give Day any more ideas. She could very well do that in a future book.
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