Previously, Christian and Ros (who?) were involved in a ~very suspicious~ plane crash. It’s a good thing I’m 99% we found out that Ros is gay in the original trilogy because otherwise Ana would have been so upset that Christian was lost for three pages with another woman.
Darker Chapter 10 (Part 1):
Ana has a gift for Christian.
I look to Ana for a clue. “Turn it over,” she says. I do. And the word “YES” flashes on and off.
Yes.
Yes.
YES.
No.
No.
NO.
Christian continues to tell us what a big deal this is. I know, buddy, this is basically the true beginning of the end for Ana. Super life changing.
He tells us how exhilarating joy is. Glad he cleared that one up for us.
We interrupt this explanation of happiness to bring you helicopter talk.
“I thought I’d lost you,” she says, and she looks a little dazed.
“Baby, it will take more than a malfunctioning 135 to keep me away from you.”
“135?”
“Charlie Tango. She’s a Eurocopter EC135, the safest in its class.”
But not today.
Ana: Tries to tell Christian about how scared she was of losing him
Christian: PLANES ARE COOL!
Christian quickly goes from joy to anger when he realises that Ana had actually given him his gift the night before. Of course, by now you’re familiar with Christian’s wide range of emotions. Angry -> Happy -> FURIOUS -> Horny. So he decides it’s time for them to have sex.
I had the answer all the time.
I want her.
Here.
Now.
No. Wait.
Or does he?
She squeals and I hoist her over my shoulder, and head for my— no, our— bathroom.
“Christian!” She swats my behind.
I swat hers back. Hard.
“Ow!” she yelps.
The beginning of so many wonderful murderous things to come.
Christian pauses to empty his pockets in detail and then pulls them both into the shower with their clothes on…for some reason. I guess it was about time we get a PG shower scene. That is until we get the most dramatic description of unzipping someone’s dress that I’ve had the pleasure of reading:
Grasping her shoulders, I spin her around, giving me easier access to her zipper. I complete its journey to its bottom…
Honestly, the zipper had the most interesting journey of anyone in this entire series.
Her arms are still in the sleeves, restricting her movement.
I like that.
Of course you do. You are like ten minutes from binding Ana’s feet and putting her in a straight jacket so she can’t go anywhere ever.
Things continue to heat up:
I moan my appreciation. She has great tits.
Responsive, too.
“Baby, your tits are so responsive.” Smirk
Christian pauses to wash Ana’s hair in the middle of all this. I don’t even have a specific quote to pull out for that. I just thought you should know.
Christian then has a very normal sequence of thoughts which lead him to a S H O C K I N G realisation:
This is exactly how to spend the early hours of a Saturday morning after a near-death experience.
Wait.
I open my eyes and pin her with my gaze. “It’s Saturday.” I grasp her waist and pull her against my body and kiss her.
No more condoms.
I feel like Christian is equally as happy that he doesn’t have to wear a condom as he is that Ana agreed to marry him.
Later:
I grin and join her in bed. “This is so neat. The best birthday present I’ve ever had. Better than my signed Giuseppe DeNatale poster.”
For the life of me, I can’t get a handle on Christian’s dialogue. We go from, “Laters, baby.” to “This is so neat.” It also feels like such an underwhelming thing to say given he’s been obsessing nonstop about whether Ana will say yes or not.
“It’s perfect. Like you.”
“I am far from perfect, Christian.”
“Are you smirking at me, Miss Steele?”
“Maybe.” She chuckles.
I can tell, Ana. Your body language gives you away.
I laughed so hard at first, but then I realised she must be facing away from him in his arms. But I love the idea that he’s seeing her smirk at him, and then he’s all smug that he can tell.
They go to sleep, and what follows can only be described as a bizarre amalgamation of all the odd flashbacks and events of this story. I am sure there is some symbolism in here–choosing sweet things over bad ones! Waving goodbye to your past! Vaguely offensive comments about addicts–and I cannot wait to hear your interpretations in the comments.
Here is the dream in full:
Ana, burnished hair and broad smiles, is with me in Charlie Tango.
Let’s chase the dawn.
She laughs. Carefree. Young. My girl.
The light around us is golden.
She’s golden.
I’m golden.
I cough. There’s smoke. Smoke everywhere.
I can’t see Ana. She’s gone in the smoke.
And we’re diving down. Down.
Hurtling fast. In Charlie Tango.
The ground is coming up to meet me.
I close my eyes, waiting for the impact.
It never comes.
We’re in the orchard.
The trees are laden with apples.
Ana smiles, her hair free and wafting in the breeze.
She holds out two apples.
A red apple.
A green apple.
You choose.
Choose.
Red. Green.
I smile. And take the red apple.
The sweeter apple.
Ana takes my hand and we walk.
Hand in hand.
Past the alcoholics and addicts outside the liquor store in Detroit.
They wave and hold up their brown paper bags in salute.
Past Esclava. Elena smiles and waves.
Past Leila. Leila smiles and waves.
Ana takes my apple. She bites into it.
Mmm … tasty.
She licks her lips.
Delicious. I love it.
I made it. With Grandpa.
Wow. You’re so capable.
She smiles and whirls around, her hair flying.
I love you, she cries. I love you, Christian Grey.
Wow. You’re so capable.
Love how the alcoholics and addicts only serve to salute Christan on his own journey. You’d think someone with his experiences would want to help people like that, but instead they stand in as some pseudo profound stepping stone to his own happiness. They are merely objects to him.
Yes. In a franchise full of tone-deaf things in abysmally poor taste, that whole dream was appalling. The rest of the world, no matter who has what real problems, just exists in relation to how much they are involved in Ana and Christian’s lurve.
“She has great tits.”
The only way this line would ever be acceptable is if Ana responded with a knowing look and said “I like having nice tits.” And then she and Christian can bond over Doggy Chow.
What even is that dream? It reads like something out of The Room… and I feel like that’s doing a disservice to The Room. All that’s missing is ‘oh! hi, Mark!’
‘You take the green apple and you walk out of here, believing you’re in a normal relationship. You take the red apple and I show you just how deep your misogyny goes’
Does anyone else but me feel like the part with Ana holding the apples in the dream is some kind of middle finger to Twilight? Like ELJ feels so smug that she got away with making millions off of something that everyone now knows is Twilight fanfic that she just put that blatant reference in there just because she could. You could try and “justify” it by claiming it’s not meant as a “fuck you” to Stephenie Meyer and is really just a harmless shout out for the fans, but it just makes me irrationally angry. I don’t even like Twilight or Meyer, but I couldn’t help but always feel kinda bad for her.
That’s exactly what I thought when I read that! I do feel a little bad for Meyer because she has said that she’s not happy with her characters being used like this in the fanfiction that started this series.
I also thought the whole red/green symbolism is dodgy in a series about (and I use terms loosely) “consent” in a “BDSM” “relationship.”
But Eel has proven over and over that she doesn’t understand what her own words and writing does, anyway, so we should hardly be surprised.
Why his dreams is always about apples and his Grandpa?
The only interesting thing about this series now is whether all this repetitive orchard symbolism will ever make sense or mean anything.
Spoiler alert: HA HA HA HA HA no.
I read the “You are so capable” in the most dry, saracastic way and it makes everything better 🙂
I don’t know where she got the idea that
giving each thought
its own paragraph
is super meaningful
and deep
but it’s
not
and
she
should
stahp.
Yes.
Yes.
YES.