Previously, Mia and co were celebrating Thanksgiving at Max’s house when Mia gets the call that her father has woken up from his coma. She and Maddy rush to Vegas to be by his side.
Calendar Girl (November) Chapter 9:
Mia frantically packs for Vegas while Max stands around acting concerned and overprotective for…reasons. At least his one character trait is consistent.
“…We’re good. Really. I’ll send regular updates to keep you informed. Cool?” Wes held out a hand. Max nodded and gripped Wes’s hand then curled his enormous paw around his other shoulder.
“Glad you’re marrying my sister. I know I’m protective and a bit overboard when it comes to these women, but you gotta remember, partner, I just got them and can’t risk losing ’em.
Losing them to what exactly is unclear. In Vegas’ maze of a hospital system? I honestly have no idea what he’s talking about.
Wes takes this moment to assure Max that he wants to buy property from him so they can build a house nearby. Great, but again, that is neither here nor there! Wes and Max continue to hammer out the plans for not only Mia and Wes but the rest of the family. They can fuck right off!
Anyway, we jump ahead to Maddy and Mia in the hospital. The girls assure one another everything is going to be okay.
I grinned. My marrying Wes and her marrying Matt didn’t change our relationship. Nothing would. Not only was it blood-deep, but it had been born of years of strife, having only the other’s back, and loving each other when no one else cared.
So tired of this blood-deep bullshit already. It’s only worse later when Mia reminds us that their father isn’t Maddy’s “real father”.
This is it, everyone. The moment we’ve all been waiting for! Mia’s father, basically the Ryan of Saving Private Ryan finally makes his big debut.
“My b-babies.” Stiffly he opened his hands, likely not being able to use the muscles in his arms at this time. “Give your old man some love,” he said, his voice a brittle rasp from lack of use.
They’re all crying, and it’s meant to be super emotional, but it feels so anti-climatic and robotic. “Likely not being able to use the muscles in his arms at this time“ is so oddly formal.
We also never get clarification if the sporadic stuttering–which goes on for the whole chapter–is due to the coma or a speech impediment he had before. I just feel like that’s the kind of detail that needs some clarity since we have absolutely no background on this character other than his drinking and gambling problems.
We held one another and cried. Maddy and I both turned to our dad, heads resting on his chest. I grabbed Maddy’s hand and placed it over our dad’s heart.
“God, l love you g-girls. M-M-ore than a-anything. Gonna s-show you. Be a g-good d-dad. I-I swear.”
I don’t really know what I was expecting from this scene. The etiquette for someone waking up from a coma that they were put in after being badly beaten for owing a million dollars is unclear. Maybe it was unrealistic for me to expect he ask if Benny had come after Maddy and Mia or to express fear over what happened.
Instead, we get Wes and Matt showing up and making out with their fiances.
I turned my head and saw Wes standing at the door. A huge smile spread over my face. Seeing him was like seeing an open sky full of stars on a pristine night on our Malibu beach.
Pops grumbled, “Yours, Mia.”
I grinned. “Oh, yeah, he so belongs to me.” I jumped out of bed, wiped my face with my hands, and wrapped my arms around my man.
Why…why would she not instantly introduce them? I guess I can kind of understand why her father is grumbling about Wes showing up like who IS this dude, but it’s also kind of a weird reaction.
“…Pops, this is my fiancé, Wes,” I said with a heaping dose of pride.
Pops eyes narrowed. “Fiancé?”
Just as I was about to respond, Matt entered the room. Maddy hopped up and ran to her man. He caught her and spun her around once.
Why are they all “running to their men”! This is such a jarring way for them to introduce their fiances to their father who has been in a coma for like a year. In fact, why did they even let those two in the room with no warning?
“Honey?” Pops coughed. “My g-girl has a b-boyfriend? L-Lord.”
“Um, Dad, a lot has happened since you got hurt.” I was uncertain of how much I should say.
“Hurt? C-Cocksuckers j-j-umped me.”
Just as I can’t pin down when his stutter comes and goes or whether it’s a medical thing, I can’t pin down this man’s dialogue.
Just then, his heart monitor starts beeping and the nurse kicks everyone out of the room. Oh, okay, guess that’s that.
In a chapter where their father wakes up, that is all we get of him. Yup. The rest of the chapter is a fucking phone call with Gin where she just talks about “Samoan cock” because of course that’s all the conversation is about! What you expected the conversation to not be offensive and gross? Well, you’re a fool.
Right, but how was Ginelle’s Thanksgiving you didn’t ask?
Ginelle made a moaning sound low in her throat. “Girl, let’s just say the only bird I swallowed was a heaping dose of fat Samoan cock.”
“Now I know why you spent a month fucking his brother. The Niko men… Jesus Christ, my hoo-hah will never be the same.” She let out a long groan. “He looks at me with those black eyes, and I swear my legs fall open like Moses parting the Red Sea.”
“…Just when I think he’s done, ready to put the beast between his thighs away, he brings that fat dick back out, and I’m weeping all over for it again.”
Good talk, Gin. Glad you’re happy. Oh wait…just one more gross, racist comment for the road? Please?
“Now what I want to hear for me is a big, buff tatted Samoan cry out to some Hawaiian gods while I drain his cock so I can get a little shut eye.”
Okay I’m sorry but I don’t believe women talk to each other like this (nor do men tbh) and it’s not feminism for women to just act like dudes
….and again, not even dudes talk like this. What is even happening in this book
I need a shower for every Gin quote in this post.
‘Drain his cock’ just makes me think of putting a needle in his dick, like when doctors are trying to stop priapus. So, thanks Carlan