Calendar Girl (December) Chapter 1: MOM?!

Previously, Mia’s had quite a year. She was forced into the world’s tamest sex work because of her father’s debts to the world’s tamest gangster loan shark, where she met her gazillionaire boyfriend Wes and learned that she was the long-lost step-sister of a gazillionaire oil tycoon and now she too is a gazillionaire. Oh, and also she got a six-figure job hosting a TV show. I just sat and stared in disbelief at that series of words I just wrote because, holy shit, that’s really a summary of the past eleven books in this series.

And Mia’s dad’s out of his coma, her sister’s also engaged and going to med school, and her best friend Gin has gotten over the trauma of being kidnapped by having a lot of racist sex or something. Sounds like everything’s turning up Mia!

Calendar Girl (December): Chapter 1

Mia and Wes go to his family’s house in Aspen, Colorado, a few weeks before the film crew is set to arrive for Mia’s next assignment for her Living Beautiful tv show, which has been sponsored by a rich dude in Aspen who wants them to do a segment on his wife and her art. The chapter starts with endless descriptions of how big the house is and how beautiful mountains are. I’ll spare you because I think we’re all kinda done with Mia describing how impossibly nice her life is now. We get it, Mia. You’re rich now. We understand.

They go into town and walk around. Mia reflects on how “I still couldn’t wrap my brain around” how she’s marrying Wes in three weeks. Same.

Mia sees someone who sounds like she’s probably going to be important.

a woman around my height exited [a cafe]. She was lean, wrapped in a wicked cool leather jacket that went down to her knees and was tied with a belt at the waist. [Her] hot pink scarf floated in the breeze

Possibly?

Her very familiar pitch-black hair hung in loose curls around her shoulders. I squinted, trying desperately to see more of the woman’s face, but she was looking down into her bag.

Gosh, I just can’t tell.

The woman’s shape, hair, and the bone structure I could see reminded me so much of someone I knew.

Gosh, guys, I don’t want to sound crazy, but I’m starting to wonder if this woman with familiar-looking bone structure could be significant.

Mia and the woman make eye contact for a split second and Mia has some feelings.

I gasped and jumped back, slamming into Wes […]
“It can’t be…” I choked out […]
Anger.
Frustration.
Desperation.
Helplessness.
Abandonment, and everything in between, shot through my body like a freight train barreling through the countryside. […]
I shook my head and glanced around [but] the woman was gone.

…wait, really? How? Did Mia’s mom teleport or is she fucking Carmen Sandiego?

“B-B-But she was right there!” I glanced at the other businesses and down the sidewalks. Nothing. Gone.

Wes asks who she’s talking about, and Mia gives a very normal answer that totally sounds like a real person and not at all like an author trying to tease out as much suspense as possible.

“Meryl Colgrove.”
Wes frowned and his eyebrows came together. “Baby, I’m not keeping up. Who’s Meryl Colgrove?”
“My mother.”

Remember literally one book ago when Mia’s dad asked who was calling her and she said “my brother” and he was like “what brother”? Classic Mia, introducing people all suspensefully.

They look around for a while without any luck. Mia considers the possibility that maybe her mom lives in this town, but then dismisses it as too improbable, as though she doesn’t remember a single previous book in this series. She tells herself that it probably wasn’t even her mom, although she finds she can’t totally believe it. Meanwhile, Wes has been putting on his detective cap.

“Why are we here, Mia? […] When are we supposed to meet with this mountain man? The guy that made a healthy donation”—Wes actually made air quotes—“to the show on behalf of the local artisans, one being his wife. […] I thought it was a little odd, too.”

Fun Fact: I put this gif here and now this is what you’ll picture every time you think of Wes from now on

Wes explains that he and Mia’s brother Max thought the whole situation was a little weird and hired a private detective to look into the show’s client. If anything, I guess not telling Mia about his investigations into her life is at least in character for Max.

My brother was ridiculously protective […] Hearing that some random guy out in the hills specifically requested and supposedly paid some serious money to get me to do a segment on something as simple as local artists didn’t jibe with him and his alpha maleness.

Gosh, if only I were an alpha male, only then could I have the capacity to give two shits about my loved ones’ well-being.

Alright, so what have they dug up?

“Seemed legit. He was looking further into it, but didn’t seem too stressed.”

…wow, good share, Wes.


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3 comments

  1. Jennifer Layton Reply

    Wes’ investigation needs sound effects.

    WES: That guy made a healthy donation. I thought it was a little odd, so I had him investigated.

    SFX: DUN DUN DUN!!!

    MIA: So what did you find out?

    SFX: (tense, suspenseful music)

    WES: It seemed legit.

    SFX: (record scratch) (crickets chirping)

  2. wordswithhannah Reply

    The woman’s shape, hair, and the bone structure I could see reminded me so much of someone I knew.

    This is the weirdest possible way she could have chosen to say “she looked like me.”

    This series would be infinitely improved by the addition of Carmen Sandiego.

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