Previously, the war began! They need a distraction so Amren and the Archeron sisters can attack the Cauldron in secret. Luckily, Feyre’s merry band of monsters comprised of Brian, the Bone(r) Carver, and the Weaver show up to fight.
Chapter 70:
The monsters attack and their attack is strawwwwng.
“You actually did it,” Amren murmured, gaping as the three immortals slammed into Hybern’s lines, and the screaming began.
This is such a weird mental image. Is this like a football tackling situation? Are they just running into the soldiers?
Rhys lifts his hands and kills a bunch of the army instantly–Feyre describes them as “misted.” Since I really don’t get the magic in this story, I’m not sure why he couldn’t just keep doing more of that or how his power reserves work, but okay.
The Illyrians moved. That had been Rhys’s signal.
They shot down from the skies—just as a legion rose up from Hybern teeming with things like the Attor.
Maas is not even trying anymore. “there were things in the army like…that one thing that was supposed to be scary in another book!! remember that crazy guy?!?!”
Moar fighting!
On land, Tarquin’s, Helion’s, and Kallias’s soldiers began to charge. Hybern unleashed its hounds—and other beasts.
Other beasts like…the Attor! And some guy named Steve! And other things!
…on the other side of the Carver, leaving husks of corpses in her wake … Stryga shredded through Hybern in a tangle of black hair and white limbs.
Stryga is the Weaver btw. Also…WHAT DOES SHE MEAN BY HYBERN THO?? THE KING? THE ARMY? THE PLACE??
Even MOAR fighting and then! GASP! Who is that appearing over the hill?!?! Why it’s armies led by MEN WHO NEED TO BE REDEEMED. Excuse me. Males who need to be redeemed. Oh my gosh it’s the Army of Toxic Men Whose Redemption Arc This is Apparently.
Three armies. One bearing the burnt-orange flag of Beron.
The other the grass-green flag of the Spring Court.
And one…one of the mortal men in iron armor. Bearing a cobalt flag with a striking badger. Graysen’s crest.
[…]
Because Tamlin’s small army, and Beron’s, and Graysen’s … Now they were running and winnowing and blasting for Hybern’s ranks. And leading that human army…
Jurian.
But Beron. Beron had come back.
I’m imagining this as an army made up of poop emojis.
Hybern is SHOOK that Jurian, Jurian, a man who used to be his enemy and had absolutely no reason to ever become his ally betrayed him.
So they all fight, but then the Cauldron also attacks. And kills a lot of people including the Bone Carver. Luckily, Cassian is fine because Nesta sort of predicted the attack and screamed his name a lot to save him.
Chapter 71:
Feyre has some Deep Thoughts(tm) about the Bone Carvers, uh, super tragic death.
I wondered who would carve his death in the Prison.
If he had perhaps already carved it for himself on the walls of that cell. If he had wanted to make sure I was worthy not to taunt me, but because he wanted his end … he wanted his end to be worth carving.
Feyre what the mcfuck are you talking about? He had like two pages of battle time where he was just slamming into the army with “a scimitar of ivory”. Go fight the Cauldron and stop this awful introspection.
Everyone is shook by the Cauldron’s attack. Random, non-important soldiers have died. Elain is vomiting! Nesta can’t stand up! HOW ARE THEY GOING TO ATTACK THE CAULDRON?!
Also it is my duty to tell you that the Cauldron has stopped its attack for the moment because it needs time to refill. Honestly. How the fuck does magic work in this book?
I met Amren’s gaze. Can it be done—with just me? Her eyes narrowed.
Maybe . A pause. Maybe . It never specified how many. Between the two of us … it could be enough.
Of course. Because of course it can work however is most convenient for the story. No challenge is ever really a challenge that can’t be instantly overcome in two lines.
Even by the time Amren and I crossed the miles of battlefield … What would be left?
Who would be left?
Probably all the main characters.
More of Hybern’s army shows up by sea. Rhys mind-tells Feyre to do her best and if she can’t win to run away and live to fight another day. I don’t know how anyone could possibly be reading this and actually worry that something bad will truly befall these characters.
The Weaver was already slowing on the eastern front, her death-dance hindered by too many enemies.
I for one cannot fucking wait to see this death-dance when the movie adaptation happens.
But then, two lines later, ANOTHER army shows up. Oh my god it’s the Army of Characters Who Have Been Mentioned A Lot But We Have Never Met!
The Seraphim.
Drakon’s legion.
I actually started laughing out loud and my husband was like ????? and I was like, “You had to be there in this series for 4000000+ pages to understand why I am crying with laughter right now. Everything we have read has been worth it for this moment.”
The only question is when will Lucien show up from his off-screen side quest?
And Rhys’s choked laugh was enough to tell me who it was. Who now flapped before us, grinning broadly.
“You could have asked for aid, you know,” drawled the male—Drakon . “Instead of letting us hear of all this through the rumor mill. Seems we arrived just in time.”
Bless you, Drakon. You have cracked me up.
“We came looking for you—and found you gone,” Rhys said—but those were tears in his eyes. “Makes it hard to ask someone for aid.”
Drakon snorted. “Yes, we realized that. Miryam figured it out—why we hadn’t heard from you yet.”
I would kill to have been a fly on the wall for that conversation.
Drakon: I heard a rumor that there’s this huge war about to happen?!?! And like our BFF Rhys is involved. Why didn’t he get in touch?
Miryam: OH MY GOD WE FORGOT TO GIVE HIM OUR NEW ADDRESS THAT MUST ALSO BE WHY HE DIDN’T SEND A CHRISTMAS CARD!?!?!?!?!??!!
Drakon: SHIT HONEY WE BETTER PREPARE FOR WAR BUT LET’S MAKE SURE OUR TIMING IS AS DRAMATIC AS POSSIBLE AND NOT JUST REACH OUT TO RHYS RIGHT NOW!
Drakon explains that they basically used the same trick Rhys did to hide Velaris but oops it meant friends couldn’t find them either…okay!
BUT WAIT Drakon also reveals that Lucien’s backstory has come into play. What are the odds!!!
Drakon rubbed his jaw. “I can’t even begin to explain the convoluted story they told me, but …”
You and me both, brother.
He shook his head. “They’re led by a queen named Vassa.
I began crying.
“Who was apparently found by–”
“Lucien,” I breathed.
“Who?”
I cannot stop laughing this is the best convo ever.
Drakon’s brows narrowed. “Oh, the male with the eye. No. He met up with them later on—told them where to go. To come now , actually…”
WHAT OH MY GOD THIS IS SO FUNNY! Was Lucien just like running to his quest and then he was like, “Oh uh…hi I’m Lucien and I was looking for you guys?? Right this way to the battlefield??”
It turns out that Feyre’s father found Vassa? And he has a bunch of ships named after his daughters. Oh my god honestly this chapter was the greatest gift ever. What the fuck is even happening?
I started crying with laughter on the 4 train earlier this week when the dad who hasn’t shown up for two and a half books shows up out of fucking nowhere with an army. I hope every minor character reappears with an army in these chapters. Feyre’s old handmaid from the Spring court has an army of housekeepers, AND THEY’RE READY 2 FIGHT! Clare Beddor comes back as a ghost and leads an army of ghosts! Travis comes in dual wielding glocks! any of this could happen and i’d just be like sure
Oh my god oh my god YES YES YES amazing all of it. I need to feature this comment in a post somewhere because I’m dying right now. Just put it in your “previously” section next chapter.
Words can’t describe how I felt when the Dad came back. I didn’t take it as well as you. I think I was enraged.
“Lucien,” I breathed.
“Who?”
lol same
It’s apparently been just over a year since I got distracted and stopped keeping up with this blog! I’m having fun catching up in general, but this post in particular is taking me OUT. It’s like the whole series was just setup for this incredible punchline.