Previously, Matthew decided that Caroline is his favorite character. I am undecided about that. All she seems to do is try to convince Maxim to have sex with her, so, *shrug*. Caroline is also apparently psychic and figures out that Alessia and Maxim are obsessed with one another.
Maxim also discovers Alessia can play the piano and he’s very flustered by this. He is so flustered he touches her lower lip, which is a totally normal and not at all creepy thing to have done.
The Mister Chapter 7 Summary:
Impressively, Maxim does business things while simultaneously angsting about his shortcomings.
It was always Kit.
The heir. Not the spare.
Fuck.
Why race through the icy lanes on a freezing night?
James, E L. The Mister (pp. 104-105). Random House. Kindle Edition.
I’m sure Kit deeply regrets this reckless decision as it means he’s not around to watch this beautiful and inexplicable romance blossom between Alessia and Maxim.
Speaking of Alessia, Maxim longs to see her again.
Speaking of longing to see someone again, Alessia is longing to see Maxim again. She gets more than she bargained for when she finds him napping in the living room.
His dark lashes flutter over drowsy eyes, and he smiles and holds out his hand. ‘There you are,’ he mumbles, and his sleepy smile galvanises her into action. She thinks he wants help to come to his feet, so she steps forward and takes his hand. All at once he tugs her down onto the sofa, kissing her quickly and curling his arm around her so that she’s resting on top of him, her head on his chest. He mutters something unintelligible, and she realises he must still be asleep. ‘I missed you,’ he murmurs, and his hand grazes her waist, then rests on her hip, holding her to him.
Is he asleep?
James, E L. The Mister (p. 108). Random House. Kindle Edition.
WHAT?? Come on.
Apparently, still asleep, Maxim starts whispering very coherently about how good she smells. I’m fully prepared for people to come at me in the comments with all sorts of facts about sleep-talking and stuff, but I’m holding my ground. Unless this is a REALLY BIG PLOT POINT ABOUT MAXIM AND NOT AT ALL A REALLY LAME DEVIVE, I stand by my “come on.”
Zot! What should she do? She lies stiff and unyielding on top of him, terrified and fascinated at the same time. But what if …? What if he …? All manner of horrible scenarios suddenly run through her mind, and she closes her eyes to bring her anxiety under control. Isn’t this what she wants? What she has been longing for in her dreams? What she secretly desires in her private moments?
James, E L. The Mister (p. 108). Random House. Kindle Edition.
Am I misreading this or does Alessia grow concerned that Maxim might try to bang her/assault her in his sleep, and she’s like, ‘but wait, isn’t this what I dreamed of’??? If she had said that she wanted him but not like this that would actually make sense. But no matter how innocent you are meant to be–or is this stemming from the previous sexual assault that’s been alluded to? Which I also don’t think would help this scene make sense to me–WHY oh why would your reaction be like ‘omg shouldn’t I want this man to bang me in his sleep since I want to bang???’ It makes no sense.
She spies a smattering of his chest hair in the V of his T-shirt and sweater. It’s provocative. She lays her cheek on his chest and closes her eyes and inhales his familiar scent.
James, E L. The Mister (p. 108). Random House. Kindle Edition.
In a shocking twist of fate…is ALESSIA the creepiest character in this story? Why the fuck would she start cuddling this sleeping man? ALSO I AM CRYING OVER THE “it’s provocative” about his chest hair. She sounds a lot like Christian Grey TBH.
He smells of wind and rain and exhaustion.
James, E L. The Mister (p. 109). Random House. Kindle Edition.
ONLY ONE OF THOSE CAN ACTUALLY SMELL LIKE A THING OH MY GOD WHAT EVEN!
She kisses his skin (Alessia, omg, stop!) and then she does finally stop herself. She wakes Maxim up, and they have a wacky misunderstanding where HE thinks he was the one who upset her and is in the wrong. Bless him??? Although this, “Omg I’m so sorry I was asleep and scared you!!!” thing is very weird. I didn’t realise we were reading Bared to You again. Although, at least in that story it was a major plot point. I have a feeling this is just a one-off plot device.
Alessia feels bad that The Mister is so tired, so she takes off his boots and guides him to bed.
She’s gone from uncertainty and confusion to delight and wonder to compassion and assertiveness in the space of a few minutes.
And he kissed her.
And she kissed him.
James, E L. The Mister (p. 111). Random House. Kindle Edition.
What in the fuck am I reading?
We then hop on over to Maxim’s POV where he angsts about frightening Alessia and how he’s blown it with her! I think they’ve exchanged like ten words now?
Feeling simultaneously morose and aroused, I fall fast asleep and surrender to her in my dreams.
James, E L. The Mister (p. 112). Random House. Kindle Edition.
That is honestly a summary of the entire book thus far.
Just in case you were starting to worry that Maxim wasn’t meeting his creepy quota for the chapter, he’s got you covered.
How many houses does she clean anyway? How many pockets does she rummage through? I dislike the thought. Perhaps I should hire her full-time.
James, E L. The Mister (p. 113). Random House. Kindle Edition.
….or just ask her on a fucking date? And then if you feel really conflicted stop employing her and fucking date her so there’s no conflict of interest or worry about taking advantage. The solution is not to GAIN MORE CONTROL OVER HER?
After his nap or whatever, Maxim finds Alessia in the living room and GASP it’s snowing. And all train services have been suspended!! Though Maxim offers Alessia a place to stay, she insists she needs to get home. So he offers to take her home himself. This is particularly exciting to Maxim because he’ll be able to find out where she lives.
In the car, Maxim peppers Alessia with questions about what brought her to London, but this seems to distress her. Instead, he switches to talking about her piano playing and discovers that she sees the musical notes as colors (synesthesia). It’s a nice conversation and a nice reprieve from Maxim fretting about whether or not Alessia is an adult (whew she confirms she’s 23!) or whether or not she’s a lesbian (this thought troubles him greatly) or whether or not she has a boyfriend (I guess the lesbian concern was dismissed quickly.)
Alessia invites Maxim inside for a cup of tea or coffee, and for some reason he declines? No seriously, he gives us no internal reaction explanation, just tells Alessia that it’ll take him awhile to get back with the roads being back. Given how badly he wants to spend more time with her, it’s weird that he doesn’t jump at the chance or at least internally feel sad about declining the invitation. Does he only want to spend time with her in places where he’s in control?
He says goodbye to Alessia and has a laugh when he sees Magda’s fourteen-year-old son glaring at him from the doorstep (Alessia has already explained he’s not her boyfriend WHEW!)
“Perhaps I should hire her full-time.” Christian Grey level of creepy. And Alessia is super creepy too, why this book exist ewwww
So … each woman wants to bang Maxim (but are sluts for that except if they are Alessia) and apparently each man wants to bang Alessia (even if he is just 14 and therefore Maxims brooding jealousy rages are justified)? Did I get that right so far?
This sounds like it was written by an alien hiding amongst the human race, trying to write a romance novel based on watching several hours of soap operas and French cinema.
Maybe it was an experimental AI, like the one which wrote “Harry Potter and the Portrait of what Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash”, which – in my opinion – is a much better text than “The Mister”.
Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash was better written than Crimes of Grindelwald.
This guy is creepy and controling AF
The only way I can imagine this story working is if ‘Bridget Jones’-era Hugh Grant was playing Maxim, and some wonderfully subtle yet witty actress played Alessia. We’d need humor as a disinfectant. Thank you for reading this for me.