Previously, Maxim and Alessia have confessed their love to each other, after meeting something like, idk, maybe a month ago? It’s hard to remember, especially because we’ve spent the last month recapping basically no plot.
The Mister: Chapter 23
Maxim asks Alessia since when does she love him, which is an unintentionally appropriate question for sure.
“Since when?”
She pauses and lifts a shoulder in a coy shrug. “Since you gave me the umbrella.”
It somehow gets more inexplicable from there.
I beam at her. “I felt so good about that.”
This is… an underwhelming love story. “When did you know you were in love with me?” “The first time you ever spoke to me, performing a basic act of kindness.” “Aw, yeah, I did pretty awesome there. Good job, me.”
“You are the Earl of Trevethick?” she teases. “When were you going to tell me?” There’s a mischievous twinkle in her eye, and I laugh out loud, knowing that she’s echoing my question from the other night.
“I’m telling you now.”
Aw, it’s their first ever inside joke! It’s about how they’re godawful at communicating with each other. This will probably be fine.
Conveniently, this exchange is happening in a room full of portraits of previous Earls of Trevethick. You could say E.L. James is really laying it on rather Trevethick – look, like that’s really worse than the jokes that actually appear in this book:
“that’s my father, the eleventh earl. He was a farmer and a photographer, too. And he was an ardent Chelsea supporter, so I’m not sure what he would have made of your Arsenal top.”
Alessia gives me a puzzled look.
“They are rival London football teams.”
They have a conversation where Maxim actually opens up to her about how Kit was the earl until he died, Maxim was never expected to be the earl, and he’s been overwhelmed by the sudden responsibility. Of course, Maxim’s been open with the reader about this since the beginning, so it’s a little easy to miss that this is actually a bit step for him.
A doctor shows up and we get an absurd amount of detail about how he’s retired, but the new family doctor is on vacation, so he’s filling in. I can only assume these details are being included because the twist at the end of the novel will be that he was the killer the whole time. We also learn that Alessia is fine.
Maxim pulls a Beauty and the Beast and takes Alessia to a room full of instruments, including a beautiful piano. Alessia plays the super best piano ever that’s even better than Maxim’s other best piano ever. There’s still a quarter of this book left.
“It’s beautiful. How does it sound?”
“Let’s find out.”
Does he not know? Then whose job is tuning this piano that apparently no one ever plays?
Maxim goes to his study to make a few business-related phone calls that are actually too unimportant for me to summarize. But then the book’s least important character returns to demand to know why nothing is happening in this book. That’s right, readers, it’s our favorite thirsty sister-in-law!
my phone buzzes. It’s Caroline.
Damn. I told her I’d call next week.
Shit–it is next week.
I’ve lost track of time.
Losing track of time while experiencing the events of The Mister? I wonder what that’s like.
“There you are,” she snaps. “What the hell are you playing at? […] Why haven’t you called me?” […]
“I’m sorry. Events have been a little beyond my control down here.” […]
“Why all this subterfuge, Maxim?” she whispers. “What’s going on?” Her voice drops lower. “I’ve missed you.”
Maxim promises he’ll bring Caroline up to speed on (checks notes) the entire book as soon as he’s back in London. What do you think Caroline’s up to when she’s not asking Maxim why he hasn’t hit on her lately? Do we know enough about her to guess her hobbies? I seriously can’t think of a stereotype to make fun of except that, if it weren’t for obvious issues with the idea, she’s probably be really into Fifty Shades of Grey.
I thought this was the end of the chapter based on my notes, but it turned out there were a few pages after this where Maxim and Alessia ate lunch. There is a quarter of this book left.
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“good morning” “wow this man is so gentle i’m in love”
Please let us be in on the conversation when Maxim brings Caroline up to speed. I have to see her reaction. It’s the most excited I’ve been about EL James’ writing since … ever.