Previously, Caroline called to ask about the plot only to find there is no plot. Maxim and Alessia are in love and eat lunch. I swear to god I think that’s all that happened last chapter.
The Mister Chapter 24:
Alessia and Maxim go for a walk, and re-re-re-affirm their love for one another. Also, Maxim marvels at how he can’t believe the “plot” is basically over already.
She looks adorable. And I find it hard to believe that she was the victim of an attempted kidnapping this morning.
James, E L. The Mister (p. 396). Random House. Kindle Edition.
I know, I can’t believe the attempted kidnapping plot is over (maybe?!?!?!).
Maxim shifts gears and asks Alessia why she tried to run away when she found out that Maxim was secretly a Lord rather than talking the issue through with him. Fair question!
‘I don’t know.’ She turns to face me. ‘I think it was … how do you say? Instinct. You know, Ylli and Dante … I’ve been running for so long. I was a little crazy.’
James, E L. The Mister (p. 396). Random House. Kindle Edition.
…oh. I don’t know, you guys, I find this answer kind of unsatisfying. I’m not saying that stress/trauma aren’t valid, but maybe it would also be fair if it came down to trust, how they haven’t actually known each other that long, how her past has made it hard to trust. It seems a little off for Alessia’s desire to run to be written off as “oh I was just a little crazy. Tee hee.”
Alessia looks worried when Maxim tells her that if they have a problem they’re going to need to talk about it, but they drop that line of discussion when Maxim announces they’re moving in together.
‘Live with you?’ she whispers.
‘Yeah.’ ‘Here?’
‘Here. And in London. Yes. I want you to live with me.’
‘As your cleaner?’
I laugh and shake my head. ‘No. As my girlfriend. I meant what I said on the landing. Let’s do this.’
James, E L. The Mister (p. 396). Random House. Kindle Edition.
I’m including this quote for an important reason. Not just because it actually makes no sense for Alessia to jump to this conclusion (seriously, they’ve just confessed their love…why would she jump to that conclusion? It would have made a great joke, and all James would have had to do was give a physical indicator that this was the case.)
Maxim’s internal DUDEBRO/LAD is like, “Bro, it’s also a big step for you.” It’s pretty revealing that in big moments like these, this is how Maxim talks to himself.
They seal the deal with a mysterious kiss.
Leaning down, I kiss her. And what’s meant to be a gentle I-love-you kiss becomes something … other.
James, E L. The Mister (p. 397). Random House. Kindle Edition.
DEMONIC? GHOSTLY?? I NEED TO KNOW!
In case you had any doubts, yes, they go home and have sex.
‘I am shocked that you love me.’
‘With all my heart,’ Maxim says with real sincerity, but then he smiles and puts his arm around her. ‘And with this.’ He tilts his pelvis forward so she can feel his erection against her hip.
James, E L. The Mister (p. 399). Random House. Kindle Edition.
Let’s face it. He mostly loves her with all his penis.
The sex is pretty standard, but one thing that stood out to me was that Alessia admires Maxim’s “sun-kissed chest”, which raises the question…doesn’t James remember she’s set this book during the winter in ENGLAND? When the hell was the sun kissin’ Maxim’s chest?
They spend the rest of the day hanging out and chatting, and everything is great until the subject of what Alessia wants to do in the future comes up. Maxim things she should do something music related since it’s clearly her passion, but there’s the small matter of her immigration status to worry about for now.
‘Darling, what’s wrong?’ Maxim is concerned.
‘I… I want to work.’
‘Work? Doing what?’
‘I don’t know. Cleaning?’
His brow creases. ‘Alessia, I don’t think so. You don’t need to clean any more. You’re a talented woman. Is that really what you want to do? We need to find something more interesting for you.
James, E L. The Mister (pp. 410-411). Random House. Kindle Edition.
On the one hand, I get what he’s trying to say, but it still sounds just so condescending and dismissive. Like he’s telling Alessia she’s too good for cleaning and that that’s for lesser people who aren’t talented.
Maxim assures Alessia that they’ll figure out how she can find work legally.
‘But … I want to earn my own money.’
‘I understand. If you’re caught, though, you’ll be deported.’
[…]She studies him. ‘I will be your kept woman.’ Her voice is low. This is what she wanted to avoid.
His answering smile is rueful. ‘Only until it’s legal for you to work here. Think of this as a redistribution of wealth.’
‘How socialist you are, Lord Trevethick,’ she teases.
‘Who knew?’ He raises his glass to her. She reciprocates, and as she takes a sip of wine, an idea forms in her head. But will he agree?‘What is it?’ he asks.
Alessia draws a deep breath. ‘I will clean for you. And you will pay me.’
James, E L. The Mister (p. 411). Random House. Kindle Edition.
I’ve read this so many times now, and I still just feel really weird about it. And confused. I don’t see how this is a solution to anyone’s problems. Can’t they just both clean the fucking house if they don’t want to hire someone else?
It seems like this could potentially lead to an interesting discussion for the two of them, but instead we get this:
He rolls his eyes in exasperation. [note: SAME THO!] ‘Okay. If that’s what you want. But on one condition.’
‘What?’
‘Can I veto the housecoat and scarf?’
‘I will think about it.’ She smirks, feeling more light-hearted.
James, E L. The Mister (pp. 411-412). Random House. Kindle Edition.
Glad they’ve come to this hilarious and whimsical solution to their woes. Alessia is relieved that she’ll have something to do while her immigration status is resolved. I mean, you could read a book or volunteer or something, but okay!
The chapter ends with Alessia marveling over the fact that Maxim loves her. Oddly enough she does not wonder how this book has not yet ended.
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everything is so unrealistic in this mess, i’m starting to think vampires will be in this book in any moment (el james first book was twilight fanfic so why not).
“I know what you are”
“Say it. Out loud. Say it!!!!!!!1”
“ᵃ ˡᵒʳᵈ”
Ahahahaha!
This book would perhaps be improved by vampires
I’m just gonna have to say it
Trigger Warning is more realistic than The Mister
these two books were a better accidental pairing than we could have ever anticipated