Previously, Maxim chilled in Albania as he waited for Alessia and her kidnapper to show up. He also went to Alessia’s parents’ house to let them know he wants to marry their daughter. Alessia shows up at the end of the chapter while Maxim is in her house!
The Mister Chapter 31 Summary:
Maxim is delighted to see Alessia walk in. Fear not, those of you who were concerned about Alessia’s physical desirability post-kidnapping-trauma, Maxim addresses this concern immediately.
She looks stunning. Slender. Sweet. Her hair wild. But her skin is pale. Paler than I’ve ever seen her before, and she has a graze on one cheek and a bruise on the other.
James, E L. The Mister (p. 506). Random House. Kindle Edition.
He wonders what Alessia has been through. Ummmm I can’t believe we’re still pretending that Maxim thinks Alessia might have left with this guy willingly. After everything she told him! After LITERALLY FLEEING THE COUNTRY TO GET AWAY FROM HIM!
Alessia is delighted to see Maxim too.
But there’s a question on his face, beseeching her. It’s asking why she left.
James, E L. The Mister (p. 507). Random House. Kindle Edition.
Oh okay we’re still pretending that a point of tension in the story is that Maxim needs confirmation Alessia wasn’t kidnapped…again.
Alessia is awed that Maxim is here and “not with Caroline.” Reminder that these two ‘misunderstandings’ are so wildly far from one another that it’s absurd. “Maxim was hugging another woman! Does he not love me??” “Alessia disappeared with the man who she fled the country to get away from! Does she not love me??”
To her parent’s shock, Alessia falls into Maxim’s arms.
‘We’re home!’ calls Anatoli from the hall, and he swaggers into the room carrying her duffel bag, expecting a hero’s welcome.
James, E L. The Mister (p. 507). Random House. Kindle Edition.
I love this so much. It’s literally this gif:
But, ya know, the guy walking in with the pizzas is a piece of shit.
Anatoli is livid once he assesses the situation in the living room.
‘Babë,’ she says to her dad, ‘më duket se jam shtatzënë dhe ai është i ati.’
There is a collective gasp of shock that rattles through the room.
What the fuck did she say?
‘What?’ roars the arsehole in English, and he drops her bag as his face contorts with anger. Her father glowers dumbfounded at her and me, his complexion becoming more florid.
Thanas leans towards me and whispers. ‘She’s just told her father she thinks she’s pregnant and that you’re the father.’
James, E L. The Mister (pp. 507-508). Random House. Kindle Edition.
I had completely forgotten Thanas-not-Thanos was in the room and I honest to god laughed out loud when he appeared during this scene to translate.
(Also, Grammar experts, shouldn’t that be a comma after whispers?)
Alessia is just as dismissive as me about Thanas-not-Thanos’ presence in the room.
Baba stares at her, both bemused and angry, while beside Maxim a man Alessia doesn’t know quietly translates everything she’s just said into English. But she has no time for this stranger now.
James, E L. The Mister (p. 508). Random House. Kindle Edition.
BUT WHAT IF SHE DID?? WHAT IF SHE PAUSED THIS ENTIRE DRAMATIC MOMENT TO MAKE POLITE SMALL TALK WITH HIM?
Alessia declares that Anatoli is a violent man who will kill her. She then shows everyone the bruises on her neck, and Maxim’s response is to immediately attack Anatoli. I know we’re meant to be reading this scene and gasping at the drama of it all, but it reads more like the chaotic, wacky climax of a comedy.
Maxim almost murders Anatoli, but Alessia intervenes. Um. Not to be THAT GUY, but if your argument is that Anatoli is the violent one and Maxim almost murders him…maybe someone needs to be like, “Wow, both of these guys might be violent, terrible options.” I mean, yeah, I know Maxim’s violence is for, uh, the ‘right’ reasons and I know (?) he wouldn’t hurt Alessia, but I don’t know this scene seems pretty ironic to me.
Maxim’s friend Tom is also apparently in the room, and he convinces Maxim to calm down. Sort of.
‘You’re like all Englishmen,’ the arsehole snarls. ‘You’re soft and weak, and your women are hard.’
‘Soft enough to beat the shit out of you, you piece of crap,’ I snap.
James, E L. The Mister (p. 510). Random House. Kindle Edition.
Alessia’s father has had enough of this!
‘You come into my house bringing violence? In front of my wife and my daughter?’ he addresses Maxim and his friend Tom.
Where did Tom appear from? Alessia wonders.
James, E L. The Mister (p. 510). Random House. Kindle Edition.
Right, Alessia? I was just wondering the same thing.
Chaos ensues! Everyone is yelling at one another! Anatoli threatens to shoot everyone even though Alessia informs him that she removed the bullets from his gun. Anatoli’s reaction to all of these events is kind of hilarious:
‘Fuck!’ Anatoli shouts, and he glares up at Alessia, a bizarre combination of admiration and contempt on his face. ‘You are one fucking annoying woman,’ he mutters, and he staggers to his feet.
James, E L. The Mister (p. 512). Random House. Kindle Edition.
Alessia’s dad FINALLY kicks Anatoli out of their house, and Anatoli is like, “You haven’t seen the last of me!” So I guess Alessia will probably be kidnapped again in the next chapter.
Alessia’s dad turns on Maxim and Alessia once Anatoli is gone. He’s about to backhand Alessia, but Maxim steps in and lectures him on honor.
Demachi is staring at me as if I’m completely crazy. He looks to Alessia and then back to me, his fury and disgust clear in his dark eyes. ‘How dare you come into my house and tell me how to behave? You. You who should have kept his pecker zipped in his pants. Don’t talk to me of honour.’
James, E L. The Mister (pp. 513-514). Random House. Kindle Edition.
“You who should have kept his pecker zipped in his pants” will forever be my favorite quote from now on. He then declares that Maxim must marry Alessia which…is literally what he just fucking said he wanted to do five minutes ago?
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I hate everyone in this story so much lmao. What’s with Tom and the translator like wallflowers on the room? what’s with Alessia’s dad complaining about violence in front of his wife and daughter when he was so abusive towards them? Did he literally now knew Anatoli was like that?
Also, Anatoli’s “contempt and admiration” feels a wee bit like something Christian Grey would say, but I’m sure it’s no indication that James’ main heartthrob protagonist is abusive, I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.
I want to pretend this book is a parody
hard same
I know it’s a summary so we don’t get all the details, but it sounds a lot like Maxim’s “rescue” was to go to her parents’ house and inform her father of the transfer of ownership, and then just wait for her to get home.
That’s not inaccurate
yeah even though this was a summary that’s p much exactly what happened
But Alessia is okay with it — hence the “I’m pregnant!” lie — so it’s totally empowering and she has so much agency and all that. Or something.
“Soft enough to beat the shit out of you”???
Does something need to be soft to beat someone? Clearly James still has no time for an editor.