Previously, Jake Rivers and Jake Rivers alone can save the hostages and take back the campus from the left-wing terrorists! Also, chief of campus police Frank McRainey and Frank McRainey alone refuses to go to the hospital when the FBI tells him they’ve got the situation under control because this is his campus, dammit! Now, if only this story just had a male character acting solo who knew better than everyone else how to solve this problem.
Yep, really, get ready for this book to start to become even more of a parody of itself.
Also, Dr. Montambault probably still has to go to the bathroom.
Chapter 35
The first half of this chapter takes us back to the hostage situation in the library with Pierce Conners, that guy who sent Jake Rivers an unedited video of someone trying to start shit with him because he believed in the truth or something. If you’ve forgotten who this is, that’s probably because he hasn’t really been given any character outside of being liberal and black. It’s truly a miracle we can remember who anyone is in this book.
When the lights went out, the first instinct Pierce Connors felt was to stay right where he was [but] then something began nagging at him, and it wouldn’t let go.
He was supposed to be an activist, somebody who believed in working to bring about change and make the world a better place.
Watch in amazement as Trigger Warning galaxy-brains its way from “oh, this is my best chance to escape, and maybe even help save the other hostages!” to “and therefore the so-called ‘progressive’ movement is an ideologically bankrupt failure”.
All too often, he had listened to his fellow progressives complain about a situation, then conclude by saying, “Somebody needs to do something!”
This totally becomes relevant, I swear.
Pierce would ask, “Who?”
That always brought a blank stare and usually a question about what he meant [and] the answer was always, “Why… the government, of course.”
Pierce believed in government and the power it could and should wield. But that didn’t mean individuals shouldn’t do their part, as well.
I swear this all ties back to the hostage situation.
Too many on his side were all talk, no action. […] With that thought prodding him, he started to crawl away from the other members of his study group.
Brilliant.
Pierce tries to sneak away from this flimsy comparison the other hostages, urging his study group to follow him. Two of them are too scared, and the guy who already tried to convince the terrorists he wanted to be on their side calls out that Pierce is trying to get away and runs over and tackles him.
Pierce kicks him in the face and escapes into the library without any trouble, presumably bolstered by his newly developed affinity for the strength of personal responsibility and limited role of government.
The chapter cuts back to the pissing contest between the FBI and campus police, which not only seems like more of the same, as one man refuses to be overshadowed when he knows can help, dammit!, but gets grumpy about any actual way he’s asked to help…
“It might be a good idea for you and any of your department who are still there to go ahead and evacuate, Chief,” [FBI agent] Graham replied. […] “Besides, you’ve been wounded and need more medical attention.” […]
“I’m fine,” [McRainey] said. “The safety of this campus is still my responsibility.”
“Then join Chief Hartwell at the command post just off campus. My men will need to call on both of you for your advice before this is over.”
McRainey didn’t like the idea of leaving the station. It seemed too much like running away. But Graham might be right
…but then it quite literally becomes more of the same as, out of fucking nowhere, a random man enters the scene insisting he has the unique expertise to handle the entire situation.
“Chief, there’s a man here–” […]
“I’ve never worried that much about being in dangerous places,” the stranger replied with a faint smile. “I suppose I wouldn’t know what to do if I found myself somewhere that wasn’t dangerous.”
“What are you doing here on campus, anyway?” McRainey demanded. “Were you visiting somebody when the trouble broke out?”
“Actually, I wasn’t here when the trouble broke out… but I got here as quickly as I could.”
Obviously, this is that one mysterious dude Jake saw at a gun range around the middle of the book. That’s not what’s wild about this. No, what’s almost magical about this Too Many Cooks-ass scene is that after all these chapters of McRainey demanding the FBI utilize his experience that he alone has despite how exasperated they get about it… McRainey does not seem to notice any parallels between him and this brand new character doing more or less the exact same thing.
The stranger shook his head and said, “You’ve got me all wrong, Chief. Nobody sent me. I’ve got a personal reason for being here. I just want to help.”
“The situation is under control,” McRainey said heavily. “The only way civilians can help is by staying out of the way.”
“Well”–another faint smile and a shake of the head–”that’s not going to happen”
There’s a lot to make fun of here, but I’m going to go with the dark horse option and ask what’s with all the faint smiling? Is this dude tea party Santa?
“By God, at least have the decency to tell me your name!” McRainey exploded.
The stranger paused and looked back.
“It won’t do you any good,” he said, “but it’s Barry. Barry Rivera. But you can call me Dog. Just Dog.”
Said a man who definitely gave himself that nickname.
Chapter 36
Jake and Pierce meet up in this chapter and team up to break through a barricaded door. That’s about it. Pierce asks Jake what his plan is and he totally fucks it up:
“So far my only plan has been to kill as many of them as I can and not get killed while I’m doing it. […] If I can deal with the gunmen here on the fourth floor, that’ll give us access to the roof. Maybe we can get in touch with the authorities and have them bring in a helicopter [to] evacuate the freed hostages that way and get a SWAT team in here”
I feel like he should have led with the roof thing maybe.
More guys waving their dicks around than in a gay strip club. /amazed