I decide to play things cool and introduce my friends to my grandmother despite her concerning silver jumpsuit. My friends politely compliment grandma on her bizarrely colored roses.
You gaze at a bright-green rose. Whoa! Is that a pair of eyes staring back at you?
Stine, R. L.. Secret Agent Grandma (Give Yourself Goosebumps #16) (p. 84). Scholastic Inc.. Kindle Edition.
The roses attack, and one spits orange goo into my mouth, which causes me to start turning into a plant. Grandma is psychotically chanting a nursery rhyme as I continue my transformation into a plant:
“Roses are red
Violets are blue
What you didn’t know was …
The rose would be YOU!”
Stine, R. L.. Secret Agent Grandma (Give Yourself Goosebumps #16) (p. 113). Scholastic Inc.. Kindle Edition.
Well god damn it, who taught this alien nursery rhymes? That’s some dark shit!
Obviously, this was another bad ending, so I circle back and go to page 78 where I make the choice to spy on grandma.
Instead of introducing my friends to my grandmother, I sit them down and tell them about all the strange things going on. This proves to be an utter and complete waste of time.
Sophie snorts. “So your grandmother is stronger than you. What’s the big deal?”
“And my mom is always mixing up words,” Andrew adds. “Half the time she calls me by my sister’s name. So what if your grandma said eggs instead of seeds?
You sigh. They don’t believe you.
Stine, R. L.. Secret Agent Grandma (Give Yourself Goosebumps #16) (p. 78). Scholastic Inc.. Kindle Edition.
Over on page 41, I doggedly press on.
“It’s more than Grandma’s weird behavior,” you explain. “It’s a feeling I have.”
Andrew and Sophie laugh. “Oh, excuse me,” Sophie teases. “I didn’t realize you had a feeling!”
Stine, R. L.. Secret Agent Grandma (Give Yourself Goosebumps #16) (p. 41). Scholastic Inc.. Kindle Edition.
Sophie has won MVP of this book, and she had some stiff competition (overly invasive cab driver, we’ll never forget you!)
My friends tell me that they’ll help, and Andrew declares that “spying is fun”. Turn to page 103 to introduce Andrew to the overly invasive cab driver immediately.
“Maybe we should watch Grandma and try to figure out what she’s doing in the rose garden,” you suggest.
“Okay.” Andrew and Sophie head for the door.
Then you have another idea. “Or maybe we should search her room.”
Andrew and Sophie gaze at you. “She’s your grandmother,” Andrew says. “Make up your mind.”
Stine, R. L.. Secret Agent Grandma (Give Yourself Goosebumps #16) (p. 41). Scholastic Inc.. Kindle Edition.
WELL IF ANDREW DECREED IT, WE MUST CHOOSE! Go to page 53, Matthew.
