Last week I wrote the first draft of my senior thesis prospectus. Ya’ll, I’m officially writing my thesis on Fifty Shades. Yes, that’s right, the fate of my college career, whether or not I graduate, relies on my ability to write a scholarly work on this piece of shit, and I could not be more excited! What’s even more exciting is that now wonderful people from my seminar are posting articles about Fifty Shades and BDSM all over my wall. It’s awesome!!
Basically I’m going to write about how, on the surface, it seems that the series brings BDSM into the mainstream and makes it more socially acceptable. But I’m going to argue that it’s really reinforcing stigmas surrounding BDSM and saying that for someone to partake in it, they must be seriously fucked up. Like fifty shades of fucked up.
When we last left off, Christian has disappeared. And nobody lived happily ever after! The end! Oh, wait, this book isn’t done? There is still a whole other book? Well, fuck.
Ana stares into a fire and worries about Christian. Christian’s whole family plus Jose are all at Christian’s place worrying, and there’s stuff on the news about him missing. Oh the horror! “He could be hurt, hungry, or worse.” Horny.
Matt and I were talking the other day about making a bonus post that consists of a timeline to determine how much time has actually passed in these books. Here we get a glimpse:
We’ve done so much in the last few weeks, come so far. It can’t end.
Christian is so manipulative, I bet he just “went missing” so Ana would miss him and agree to marry him. I read an article a few months ago about a guy who faked a car accident to make his girlfriend think about life without him, then he was like JK LOL I’M FINE MARRY ME??!!?!
Ana starts flashing back to the good times which apparently only occurred over the past few weeks. Blatantly missing? The scene where Christian rips the tampon out of her vagina. Also missing? The fact they mostly have fought these past few weeks.
Jose asks if Ana wants him to call her parents. Ana thinks, “Maybe Ray, he wouldn’t get emotional—he never gets emotional, not even when the Mariners lose.” I know that it’s supposed to be a joke, but it falls so flat here. Because the Mariners losing is even remotely comparable to your boyfriend going missing.
Well. The memories last a little longer, but the Christian shows up. Well that didn’t take long at all! There’s a lot of the same dialogue from every character saying how worried the were and Christian not telling what happened. Then out of nowhere he asks Taylor how Taylor’s daughter is, and he’s like, “False alarm, everything is cool!” So fucking random!
Apparently there was a fire in the helicopter’s engine, but all’s fine now. Christian hitched a ride back with a truck driver who had no cell phone…and he didn’t stop to call anyone because he was in a rush to come back.
“But I was anxious to be back.” He glances at José.
Oh, that’s why, because José is staying here. I frown at the thought. Jeez —all that worry.
I can’t even express how stupid this is.
So Ana and Christian decide to go shower together, but before that she gives him his birthday present because it’s after midnight, so it’s technically his birthday.
His brow creases as he fishes out a small, rectangular, plastic keychain bearing a
picture made up of tiny pixels that flash on and off like an LED screen. It depicts the Seattle skyline, focusing on the Space Needle, with the word SEATTLE written boldly across the landscape, flashing on and off. He stares at it for a moment and then gazes at me bemused, a frown marring his lovely brow.
“Turn it over,” I whisper, holding my breath.
He does, and his eyes shoot to mine, wide and gray, alive with wonder and joy. His lips part in disbelief.
The word yes flashes on and off on the key ring.
And the word no flashes in my heart and my head over and over and over again.
OMG THE CHAPTER IS OVER!!! This is a really great surprise. Haven’t done a poll yet because I thought it would be longer.