Calendar Girl (March) Chapter 7: Mia Continues to Make Everything About Her

god help us all; calendar girl march chapter 7

Last week, people already start to figure out that Mia is not actually Tony’s fiance. Also, Tony and Hector are now up-to-speed on the Wes situation, and they apparently give a shit about this for some reason.

Calendar Girl (March) Chapter 7:

Mia, Tony and Hector prepare for Tony’s mother to come over to cook dinner with them. It’s unclear to me at this point if Hector is staying for dinner, but I think he is because Tony makes a big deal about how dressed up he’s getting. How do these idiots think for a hot minute they are fooling Tony’s mother? Why reason is there for Hector to be involved in this situation?

That’s not important, though, because it’s time for Mia to save the day and encourage Tony to come out:

“It’s just, I was wondering, have you thought about coming out?” Tony’s smile turned into a frown. I held my hands out and stepped closer. “Just hear me out.”

Yes, just hear out the woman you hired to pretend to be your fiance two weeks ago. Her opinion is the most valuable one you could ask for.

His shoulders slumped and he leaned against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. Damn, those arms. Even gay they still made me drool.

This may come as a shock, but just because the man you’re attracted to prefers men, it doesn’t mean he can no longer appeal to you sexually. His arms would have been so sexy if his penis was attracted to me, but alas sigh.

Mia reveals that his sister has already figured this whole situation out. 1) Why didn’t Hector tell Tony this. I feel like it’s his place and not Mia’s. 2) If Mia was going to tell him this, why not do it sooner? It feels like this is information Tony deserves to have.

They have a heart to heart about how he’s scared of disappointing everyone and how he feels selfish for wanting to reveal his relationship with Hector.

“No, it isn’t. It’s your basic human right. And Hector loves you. He wants nothing more than for you to be shouting it from the rooftops or at the very least allowing him to.” I chuckled and rested my forehead on his back. He turned around and gathered me into his arms. Yep, they were wonderful. Warm, strong, and secure. Just as I’d expected. Tony was quite possibly the best hugger around.

“I don’t know what to do.” Tony whispered into the crown of my head.

“Yes you do. You’ve always known. You just have to do it.”

He shook his head. “The timing hasn’t been right.”

It’s a nice heart-to-heart, but I still don’t feel like it’s earned or like it’s been organically building up to this moment. We’ve been building up to this moment just so we can see how amazing and understanding Mia is, not because we’re genuinely invested in Hector/Tony or Mia’s friendship with either of them.

Mia also presents simple solutions for the pesky problem of how coming out might impact the family business and Tony’s boxing career:

“Angelina said that you weren’t that involved anymore anyway, and it’s no one’s business.” He tilted his head to the side, his eyes focused on mine. “Besides, as a huge sponsor, they wouldn’t risk losing you. Plus, look at you? You’re a giant among little people. And you’re fucking hot. Everyone—and I mean everyone—will want to see all this,” I waved a hand up and down his front, “slicked up and beating the shit out of another guy…gay or not.” I winked and grinned.

[…]

“Again, Angelina says she’s Marketing. She’ll hire some fancy publicist PR guru to work their magic for a shit ton of money. Thinks it’s something that will be big news for a short time, no more than a few months. Then it will blow over and business as usual. The food is too good and too affordable to go under for something like the President’s sexual orientation.”

So there’s never really been an issue all along, ya big silly guy! What have you been so worried about all these years? Mia to the rescue!

She also says his mom will get over being sad about the family line…but wait? Hector and him want to have kids soon! But wait again, Hector wants to get married first! This book is going to end with Mia officiating their fucking wedding ceremony, isn’t it?

god help us all; calendar girl march chapter 7

Mama shows up and starts fussing over Hector and how much she loves to cook with him:

“…When I cook with my Hector, we make food from his heritage. Gives me the opportunity to broaden my skills. Someday I will make a dish that’s Italian and Mexican fusion of cultures and sell it at the restaurant.”

Who wants to bet that someday will be the day of their wedding when Mia is officiating the ceremony? WHO IS WITH ME ON THIS ONE?

Mama lays it on real thick and talks about how she was worried Tony would never get married, but now Mia will complete their family and give them lots of babies. Mama Mia! This lady is full-on.

It gets even worse when she finds out Mia isn’t catholic and demands she start attending church with them immediately and also going to counseling so the priest will agree to marry them.

Mia freaks out and runs outside. Tony comes after her, and Mia starts again with how he needs to come out ASAP. Then she storms back in and tells everyone she’s going to bed.

Then I realized that in my anger I was being rude. To my clients, to Mona, to the people I’d come to care a great deal for.

[…]

Hector came over to me and stopped my progression down the hall. He pulled me into a hug and tears filled my eyes. “I’m sorry. We’re sorry. Both of us.” Hector spoke so quietly only I could hear. Jesus, this man was incredible.

“I know. I just need some space after tonight.”

Mia, listen. This is not about you. Also, I know you just acknowledged that you’re being shitty at your job right now…but stop being so shitty at your job!

She goes to call Wes, but he doesn’t pick up. Wow, things have gotten so hard for Mia because her pretend mother-in-law-to-be told her to go to church…which she won’t even have to do since she’s only employed for like another two weeks tops? As someone who wants to be an actress, surely she could have mustered up the energy to just be like, “Sure, that’s a great idea, Mona!”

Although, counter point to myself, by being so dramatic maybe it will be MORE convincing to Mona that she’s engaged to Tony. Food for thought.

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3 comments

  1. Anne Reply

    If Mia had put some effort in her job she should have planned this fight right from the start. She would have been the fiance who had been kept a secret, because she was nervous about meeting the family and not meeting their standards. Then when she finally meets the family it all gets to much and she “breaks off the engagement”. Tony would have been the poor boy who choose the wrong woman and would have at least get some rest while he ‘”recovers”
    But no, that would require to much effort and it is not like Mia needs to put any effort in her job. Convincing someone to out themselves while knowing very little about their position is of course a way better solution, ugh.

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  2. wordswithhannah Reply

    Yes, Mia, I can see how upsetting this is for YOU.

    Did she just…forget that she’s not actually engaged to this dude and can say whatever she wants about religion and it doesn’t matter in the slightest?

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  3. callmeIndigo Reply

    “And you’re fucking hot. Everyone—and I mean everyone—will want to see all this,” I waved a hand up and down his front, “slicked up and beating the shit out of another guy…gay or not.” I winked and grinned.”

    Ew ew ew ew oh my g-d none of this is okay

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