Previously, Peter and Jeananna announced they were having a baby. Matthew and I have no idea who they are. Mia also dresses up in a sexy Christmas outfit.
Calendar Girl (December) Chapter 10:
We open this chapter, abruptly, in letter form.
My Dearest Mia, I’m sorry I haven’t answered your calls this past month. I don’t want my problems to affect your life any more than they already have.
Whom the fuck?
Mia, I’m a broken man. I knew I had a drinking problem before.
Oh…I guess it’s her dad? Wait, since when has her dad not been answering his calls? When did Mia even try to call him/remember she had a dad?
Her father goes onto say he’s going to figure out what he wants next in life and to not worry about him. Boy, that is going to be so hard given he was such a remarkable and present character in this series.
Mia reflects on his goodbye letter.
Maybe that was the grand idea. It was definitely what he’d stated in his letter. To live my life. Carry on without worrying about him. Last time I did that, the man ended up a million dollars in debt and my ass was in my Aunt Millie’s office selling my companionship to the highest bidder. I wasn’t that girl any more. I couldn’t be that girl ever again.
I smell a sequel…But just kidding because Mia is now extremely rich and could pay off that debt in a heartbeat now.
Tomorrow, I would marry Weston Charles Channing, the third. There would no longer be a Mia Saunders. In her place would be a married woman.
Wowwwwwww. Mia will undergo complete transformation after the wedding, I guess.
Gin shows up and she and Mia have a heart to heart about how Mia has to focus on a new day blah blah. Then, Gin talks about how even though she really likes Tao, she isn’t sure a relationship would work.
She tilted her head back and looked up at the sky. “He wants a wife and a mother for his future babies. A woman he can take care of, not a woman who wants to work. I’ve spent years honing my craft. I have some serious good years left dancing before I have to give it up…”
She goes on to talk about how she wants kids, but she loves the idea of still teaching dance even as a mom. I would like to point out, she does not use the term “Samoan cock” once, and I will be forever grateful.
Mia asked if she’s explained all this to Tao.
She sighed. “Yeah, and he said that no woman of his was going to work unless it was with the family act.”
“Well, they’re dancers, you could maybe…”
WHAT? How is Mia not reacting to how utterly controlling that is? Glances over at Wes never mind.
Mia asks if Tao is worth giving up her dreams for, and Gin says no, at least not now. I…dear god this is the most I have ever liked Gin.
Later that night, Wes sneaks into Mia’s room even though he’s not supposed to see the bride on their wedding night! I hope this dooms their entire marriage.
He retreated and thrust home. “Every day of my life…” Retreat, followed by a firm lunge.
“Without fail… you will be loved,” Wes promised and then picked up the pace.
The transformation process is now complete. Wes has become…Robot!Wes.
And that’s it! They re-affirmed their love that has been re-affirmed non-stop! I know we have the epilogue and the “Where are They Now” chapters next week, but this was such a disjointed final chapter. Mia’s father is quickly written out of the picture, Gin and Mia have a conversation about Gin breaking up with Tao, Wes sneaks into Mia’s room before their wedding to say he loves her.
It’s hard to describe…I just feel no real sense of resolution? At this point there wasn’t all that much to resolve, but Wes’ trauma just sorted of faded away. Mia’s dad just sort of faded away. Tao and Gin’s relationship (which was apparently a thing) just sort of faded away. All of Mia’s friends that she made along her “journey” just sort of faded away (although they will most certainly appear in the epilogue/where are they now).
“Maybe that was the grand idea. It was definitely what he’d stated in his letter. To live my life. Carry on without worrying about him.”
Oh, good. That’s what Mia was planning on doing anyway.
Also — the wedding is TOMORROW?! Did I fall asleep during this timeline?
Well that sure was an ending, I guess?? Can’t wait to play “Wait, Who the Heck is That?” in the epilogue!
I’m guessing there will be repeated use of the Arrested Development “Who?” gif.
Mia’s dad would probably go to find Millie to become a pimp for a year to figure out his life.
the most perplexing sequel ever
Mia pages ago: I love so much my dad! #MiaLovesHerDad
Mia now: My father, who almost died, sent to me a sad goodbye letter. Who cares! TOMORROW IS MY WEDDING!!!! Sorry guys, Mia Saunders will die to become The Married Woman!!!! YEAH!
I also like how Blaine kidnapped Gine/Gene/whatever to try and get Mia to date him, got paid for his efforts, and then just disappeared into the ether with absolutely no fallout. Did he wipe their memories? Can I learn how and then do it to myself to forget about Wes’s penis and how beautiful it is?
The epilogue is Mia’s dad dual-wielding Glocks
Official blog canon is actually that this is how every book ends
Wait how was THAT the ending?? Where did it end? I know these books are the worst thing I’ve ever read (through your posts) but you think that she’d at least put a little effort into the freaking ending.